How to Make Guarana At Home, If You're Really Patient And Not All That Interested In The End Result

Fill bottle with water.Attach bottle to carbonator.Give water a few shots of carbonation.Unscrew bottle of water. Say to yourself, "That doesn't look fizzy enough. Stick bottle back on.Give bottle a few more shots of carbonation.Fret that the instructions said "Three shots ought to do it." Realize you're up to 8.Unscrew bottle.Say out loud, "That doesn't look very fizzy."Screw bottle back on.Re-read instructions.Give bottle shot of carbonation until it makes a sound like a bantha getting its schwerve on.Unscrew bottle. Wait for bottle to fizz over. Be surprised when it did not.Go to fridge and get bottle of guarana syrup. Spend a minute trying to remember how old bottle of guarana syrup is. Remember bottle of guarana syrup dates back to trip to Brazil. Think about how long ago trip to Brazil was. Feel very old for a minute.Open bottle of guarana syrup. Sniff. Twice.Hand bottle of guarana syrup to nephew temporarily crashing in guest room. Say, "Does this smell OK to you?"Pour shot of guarana syrup into soda water. Sip. Decide it tastes like soda water. Hand sample to nephew. Say, "How does this taste?" When nephew responds, "It's missing something," reply with, "Yes. Flavor."Add more guarana syrup. Repeat previous step.Add more guarana syrup. Repeat repetition of previous step.Let nephew, who by now has really gotten into it, take over. Go play Settlers of Catan. Idly wonder if nephew is in fact going to pour entire bottle of guarana syrup into bottle of soda water.Trade two sheep for a wheat. Build city. Look up from terrible Settlers of Catan game when nephew wanders over with sample glass. Take sip. Nod sagely as he says "It's still missing something." Say, "Sugar."Watch him run back into the kitchen to add sugar.Listen to sounds of soda fizzing over as a result of having sugar added.Repeat previous step.Try final concoction. Decide it isn't bad.Have Sprite Zero with dinner instead.