WIP Diagnostic: Is This Working? A Closer Look at Exposition and World Building

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

WIP Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to WIP Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: Five

Please Note: As of today, critique slots are booked through May 30.

This week’s questions:

1. Does this opening hook you? Would you keep reading?

2. I’ve edited down for word count and audience (MG) reasons. Are there enough world-building details to sufficiently orient readers? (More details come relatively quickly after this, but I’m worried this opening is too sparse.)

3. Is there too much exposition? I want to establish relationships and give a feel for personalities, but I don’t want to info dump.

4. Do the explanations of in-world terms (magitiere, magiquipe) flow naturally and clearly?

Market/Genre: Middle Grade Fantasy

On to the diagnosis…

Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com