The Plague We Live In (Part One)

I had to find a religion to measure my evil against. Evil has already gotten a strong tinge of cruelty. God was dead, Church was dead. The major part of us was so frail in front of such a fraud.
Once I used to write science-fiction novels. I stopped now. Reality is more interesting than science-fiction. I lost my job. I cannot any more write a book. I dunno how to plot a story, now. I am quiet, too quiet. I am thrilled, too thrilled. I cannot plot a story any longer. I am in a quagmire. I am dying in it.
I am pervasive. I am everywhere. Am I alive? I think so. I am not dead, ergo I am alive. This is the masterpiece of my life, now. A masterpiece of resonance.
I am going around on a new battlefield. A Purgatory which is worse than the Hell. But it's a bliss in the end. It's a bliss even though I don't believe in Heaven.
God is dead, Church is dead, there is no Pope. What times are we living? Are these the times of a New Church, of a New Order? Are these times those of Satan? Everywhere I see symbols of Satan. We are surrounded by Satan and Satanists. Where is the Pope? Where is the Protector of Christianity?
The Pope we have is not a Pope. It's Satan's emanation. A hologram.
Hell is empty all the devils are here.

My dead parents visit me every midnight. They invite me to go with them.
I can't. I say.
I can't. I have to wait.
I will follow you soon. I have something to fix before coming to you.

We are in a regime, an ancient regime.
It is still THEY, from the Babylon times, THAT rule the world. Maybe not. Maybe it has started many centuries before Babylon, when aliens came from other planets and created a race of slaves. US.
But I shouldn't say this. Censorship is watching us. Probably as I watch her sleeping. We are sleeping animals. We sleep the sleep they want us to sleep. They don't want us awake. As I don't want her awake. She's so perfectly beautiful while sleeping. We are so perfectly beautiful until we are a perfect example of domestication.
I close my eyes and see how we were before the nightmare fell down on us. When the mornings sounded like mornings and the nights brought the rest we needed.
She has tried to resist more than me. She tried to keep her days busy.
She has been stronger than me. I sought solace in her to resist. I cleared my doubts using her resistance.

Did your husband call you?
No, why do you ask?
I dunno. It just came to my mind, right now.
What?
That he could have called you.
What a strange thought.
Are strange times.
Yes, they are.

Then we heard someone knocking on the door.
Your mother? I asked.
No. It's not her knock.

She got up and went to the door. The door opened.
I saw the yellow striped gilets of the policija, du policininkai
Ieškome rašytojo. They said.
Aš esu, I responded from the chair where I was sitting.
Tu irgi, Said the policeman to her.
I startled. I put down a copy of The Quiet American by Graham Greene, I was reading.
Dėl ko? I asked.
Nežinau. Answered one of them. Turite eiti su mumis.