He found me when I was loosing myself (Part 4)
My mother had invited me many times to attend a Sunday service to the church she had been attending to, and I always declined her offer thinking I was busy and it would just get in the way of my plans. I was satisfied with my relationship with God. I believed in Him. I read Bible from time to time. I bought Christian-based books. I was self-proclaimed Christian though He was never my priority. He was just on the sideline of my life. I was at liberty to include Him in my day to day life in my own convenience. I thought that was enough.
When everything fell apart, I realized how I was a jerk with that kind of mindset. I was ashamed and guilty of what I had done, of what I had been doing in my life. I lived my life as if it's my own, as if I didn't owe Him my life, as if I had made everything possible with my own strength and will alone. I was the center of my world. When my mother invited me again to attend a Sunday service, I accepted it. I was taking chances. If it was only Him who could heal me, take away the pain, the guilt, and the shame that I felt, then I was willing to take the chances and I had nothing to lose anyway. I was lost anyway.
I started going to every Sunday service and I desired to have a complete attendance even though I was attending classes of my post graduate studies every Saturday and Sunday. I was determined to always write notes about the message. Most of the time, I always cried during the worship. I couldn't help it. Tears were just there, and after I cried I just felt a little better. I was regularly attending the Sunday service, and I came to like the new routine in my life. I decided to get baptize knowing that if I do it means that I would surrender my life to Jesus and He'll be the center of my life. It means that everything I do, I do it for Him, for His glory. I thought attending a church would be a burden, but it was not.
It was April when I was also volunteered in the Sunday's school during one summer vacation. I was not how to teach in a Sunday school and I was afraid that I might not be able to teach the true message of Christ. But with God's grace I was able to finish that week. Surprisingly, I enjoyed teaching the kids even it was tiring, I still got joy from it.
When everything fell apart, I realized how I was a jerk with that kind of mindset. I was ashamed and guilty of what I had done, of what I had been doing in my life. I lived my life as if it's my own, as if I didn't owe Him my life, as if I had made everything possible with my own strength and will alone. I was the center of my world. When my mother invited me again to attend a Sunday service, I accepted it. I was taking chances. If it was only Him who could heal me, take away the pain, the guilt, and the shame that I felt, then I was willing to take the chances and I had nothing to lose anyway. I was lost anyway.
I started going to every Sunday service and I desired to have a complete attendance even though I was attending classes of my post graduate studies every Saturday and Sunday. I was determined to always write notes about the message. Most of the time, I always cried during the worship. I couldn't help it. Tears were just there, and after I cried I just felt a little better. I was regularly attending the Sunday service, and I came to like the new routine in my life. I decided to get baptize knowing that if I do it means that I would surrender my life to Jesus and He'll be the center of my life. It means that everything I do, I do it for Him, for His glory. I thought attending a church would be a burden, but it was not.
It was April when I was also volunteered in the Sunday's school during one summer vacation. I was not how to teach in a Sunday school and I was afraid that I might not be able to teach the true message of Christ. But with God's grace I was able to finish that week. Surprisingly, I enjoyed teaching the kids even it was tiring, I still got joy from it.
No comments have been added yet.
