I Get the Big F.U. From the Fairfield CT Borders

So, I'm in Connecticut for the holidays, visiting family.  And while we were poking around Fairfield, CT, yesterday, I spotted a Borders.  Remembering Fred #3 (FISH OUT OF WATER) was out that very day, I decided to pop in and sign stock.  I was totally unaware of the nightmare awaiting within.
Signing stock is different from a book signing.  With a signing, the store is expecting you, they've (hopefully) advertised, there are chairs out for readers, they've stocked lots of copies of your books.