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The Fiver’s got the weekend sorted. We’re tempted to go down to Westminster Bridge and stand gormlessly within two metres of as many people as possible, in accordance with new social distancing guidelines. But that would involve getting dressed, so we’ll probably stick to the usual routine of booze and football. Smarter readers may note that the lockdown hasn’t had much impact on The Fiver’s life. The only differences are that the football is old rather than LIVE!, and we’ve had to scale down from Premium to Value Tin. It’s a subtle palate cleanser: moreishly vile, with notes of Bonjela, turps, bleach and desperation, but at least we can afford it.
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Published on April 17, 2020 07:56