Dear Cassey: I’m working so hard, but not seeing results.
Dear Cassey,
I was wondering if you have any tips to stay motivated with diet and exercise, especially when you’re not seeing the results you wanted to see. I know it takes time, but on the days/weeks I feel like I’ve done my very best and I don’t see any results, I feel very discouraged. It makes me think, “what’s the point?” and kind of makes me want to revert back to my old ways like snacking on chips instead of snacking on healthy alternatives or stop exercising.
I know I shouldn’t compare myself since everyone’s body is different but with technology advancing, it’s difficult not to. For instance, on TikTok, I’ve seen a couple of girls who just so happen to have the same height and starting weight as me and seeing them do their monthly transformations is inspiring and makes me feel motivated but then when I start eating healthier, working out, etc. and I’m not seeing similar results, it’s very discouraging.
Also, I was wondering if you have any tips regarding binge eating/emotional eating or if you have any resources that you recommend checking out. I’ve been struggling with this a lot, ever since I was a kid honestly. I’ve noticed that whenever i’m stressed or sad or both for that matter, I just want to eat everything in my sight. Right now, if I’m getting in these “moods,” I try to at least binge on healthy foods like an apple with peanut butter but even I know that too much of a good thing is not always the best. I want to really learn how to step away from this bad habit.
Thanks!
Disappointed But Determined

Dear Disappointed But Determined,
Wow. I can literally feel your frustration as I read your question.
It’s amazing that even though you’re feeling down and feeling defeated, you’re still reminding yourself that comparison is only going to hurt you in the long run. Would it help to take a little social media detox? If you don’t want to stay off of TikTok completely (it’s so entertaining!), maybe delete anyone you follow who is showing their weight loss journey, etc. I know that seeing their results motivates you to some extent. But I think overall it’s making you feel like you’re not doing something right.
Here’s the other thing – if you don’t know these people personally, then their TikTok most likely doesn’t paint the whole picture of their weight loss journey. I think it’s safe to say that anyone who tries to lose weight goes through a ton of struggles and feels like their results aren’t good enough at some point. Who knows, these girls might be doing more than they’re saying, or stretching their results a bit. Remember, it’s a snapshot.
Now, as for YOUR journey goes, it’s exactly that. YOURS. Getting results is never going to be quick, and it takes a lot of dedication and consistency. Are you struggling to stay consistent over the long run? Or, are you changing your diet every couple of weeks when you don’t see the results you want? I know it’s soooo difficult to be patient, but trust me. Give yourself a few months of consistent hard work, and you’ll see it.
In the meantime, be super mindful about small changes you ARE noticing along the way. Is it easier to get through a certain workout than it was a couple weeks ago? Do you feel more confident when you hold a plank than you used to? Is your mood better on the days you workout and on the days you eat healthier? Those changes ARE results! Your body IS changing! Journal those changes and remind yourself often that you’re doing amazing things for your body, even if they’re not the big results you’re waiting for just yet.
As for emotional eating, let me just start by saying I know it’s hard. So, so, soooo hard. Food is a quick fix for a lot of us when we’re feeling uncomfortable, whether it be from stress, depression, or even just feeling exhausted. I think it’s awesome that you tune into how you’re feeling and try to choose healthier foods when you start to reach for food for comfort. But you’re totally right that bingeing on ANY food isn’t a habit that makes you feel better.
If you feel like leaning on food is a habit you can work on, maybe try my free habit tracker. With this tool, you can write down how often this is happening, how you’re feeling when it happens, etc. Physically seeing it and thinking it through helps!
If you feel like you need more support, I strongly encourage you to talk to your doctor! They can direct you to the best place to get to the root of the problem and take care of yourself! There are also tons of great resources available on the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) website, like a screening tool to help you take the best steps!
I hope this helps! Please know this – you are 100% NOT alone, and I KNOW you can do this!

PS – If you have a burning question you want to ask me, I’m taking questions via text at 510-692-4556. Currently this only works for US and Canada. If you’re outside of those countries, you can leave a question below.
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