DAY 10: ORCHESTRATE – MY KINDNESS
People work hard to orchestrating how other people feel. Their need to be loved and liked is powerful.
I wasn’t very old the first time I realized not everyone liked me. I met a woman who was in her late 20’s before she realized not everyone liked her. She remembers the revelation as traumatic because she was always going out of her way to make sure everyone felt loved. She was amazing and, if I had to guess, not many people didn’t like her. She passed away a few years ago and I think about her often.
I used to care when I found out people didn’t like me. It would gnaw on me for days and I’d waste energy trying to figure out what I did wrong and how I could fix it.
I had someone (unnamed) say… they aren’t nice to you behind your back so why do you continue being nice to them?
Because that is who I am. I am who you see me to be. I think people who are nice to people and then turn around and make fun of them maybe don’t understand how it makes them look. It’s ugly.
I told my friend she should always just be the best version of herself. You waste kindness on people because you believe no kindness is a waste. You love those who can’t or wont’t ever care about you because who you are isn’t dependent on who they are.
Does it hurt to find out people you go out of your way for turn around and laugh at your expense…
It used to but it stops hurting when you realize you are in control of who you are and you are superior to them 
