Corona Cops

Ever heard the term citizen’s arrest?

That’s how ordinary citizens, in the absence of police officials, can step in to detain an individual believed to have committed a crime.

I’ve heard about it my entire life, but I’ve never seen an actual citizen’s arrest take place.

That’s not to say I haven’t witnessed a lot of finger pointing, accusations, and attempted shaming.

In fact, with the collective worldwide emphasis on isolation and quarantines, the Corona Cops are out in full force. And they are ferocious.

A friend of mine on social media posted a photo of her children and their friends at a birthday party. Immediately the Corona Cops lashed out in the comments section:

“How DARE you get together at a time like this!”
“Shame on you!”
“Worst parent of the year.”

Wait. My friend’s party had actually taken place four months earlier; she just got around to posting the picture now.

The Corona Cops, satisfied for the moment, retreated from their keyboards.

But not for long. My wife mentioned buying something from Home Depot, and was quickly shredded by comments like:

“Well, you’re obviously TOO GOOD to isolate.”
“Not keeping up with the news too well, are you?”
“Is that worth dying for?”

Uh, my wife had ordered it online and it was left on our doorstep. For the moment the angry hoards fell back into silence.

Look, most of us are doing our best to tamp down the spread of this deadly infection. And I know we’d like for everyone to do their best, too.

But in the history of humankind no populace has ever had 100% of its citizens play by the rules. There will always be asshats among us.

So is it too much to ask that people put away their Corona Cop badges, or at least not be so quick to whip them out? The constant screaming at others is just tiresome.

We’re grateful that you’re a responsible human being. We are. But nobody appointed you the COVID Czar, and no, you cannot speak to the manager of COVID behavior. So stop it, Karen.

Frankly, the rest of us are tired of walking on eggshells with every photo we post and every important errand we must run.

We are not criminals; we’re simply trying to get by in a ridiculously insane time.

In other words, a citizen’s arrest is not required at this time.

Dom Testa is a broadcaster and author.

His series of spy thrillers, the Eric Swan series , is available in print, ebook, and audiobook at your favorite retailer.

Angry animal courtesy of  Jason Hafso  on  Unsplash