E: Evaluate #Step5

Every now and then we need to stop and take a look at our lives and evaluate ourselves and our relationships in it. Ok, maybe we don’t need to but I am sure you find yourself doing it, unconsciously maybe? Or without paying it much thought. Because I think human beings are like that. We evaluate. My dogs love me unconditionally and ungrudgingly. They do not care that I gave them an egg today instead of chicken, their behavior to me does not change, they still lick my face and snuggle next to me on the bed, even though they haven’t been out for a walk for days on end now. But humans are not like that. Humans need to see what they are getting out of it. Humans have to receive in order to give. (Unless they live in fear and I am not going there now) Humans judge, their love has conditions, humans evaluate. Take a step back, look at your life and do that today. What are the things that bring you joy? Which are the toxic relationships in your life? What do you need to edit from your life to get the mojo back (let’s leave COVID 19 out of this for now)? When are you the happiest? What are you uncomfortable with even with the closest of friends? Who is that work colleague that you think you can count on? Why are you even here, reading this? Think of it. I can wait. And I’ll leave you with a poem by Marty Dalton, another young poet, (see http://anthempoet.com/) which aptly says all I need to say. 
Inventoree (Inventory)
Take a deep breath inventory
Of yourself
Do not count your hands or feet
Not your wandering legs or
Wavering armsDo not take inventory of your clothes
Not of your favorite shoes or
Your special hat—not even your
Coat that you save for those cold,
Cold nights
Ignore your car—payments or paid off
Your home—apartment, trailer, mansion
Your work uniform—whatever that may beMake emergency stops only
You are still several miles from
The intersection of contentment and identity
And you have not been there
In far too long
Do not take inventory of how you look
In a summer dress or a tuxedo and bowtie
Don’t count your history with
Drugs and alcohol
Don’t count your computer, your television
Or that collection of movies
Or albums
Or books that you’ve been working on
Don’t take account of your ability to curl
Dead weight
It’s just curling dead weight
Don’t count the number of visible abs
You have
Or your BMIYou are so much more than a body
You are so much more than possessions
Your body and belongings have not
Done you well to feel like you belongInstead take inventory of your joy
You have some joy don’t you?Count your friends
Count your love letters
Count the moments when it rains
And you have an umbrella
Count the last time you had strawberries
Count the start of every kiss
Count the paid off credit cards
Actually, count those twice
Because freedom counts for twice as much
Account for all of your freedoms
Take inventory of playing catch with your dad
Your last home-cooked meal
Account for the last time you rode a bike
When you didn’t think about exercise, you just felt the wind
Count the times you wrapped birthday presents
Count the smell of the last bouquet of flowers you were given
Count the last time you went to the zoo
And you swore, nobody ever fell in love with the
Animals quite like you did
Cause you have an eye for beauty
And you’re seeing it everywhere
Take a deep breath inventory of the beauty you have seenAnd when you can’t seem to find anything that matters
To take inventory of
Count those dark moments where you still
Have the hope to rack your brain
To try to find a memory where you had joy
If you still have hope to try to find itThat is joyful
All on its own
Because I know they can be hard to find sometimes
Those things worth taking inventory of
But I have found the greatest of these things is love
Not the way I love Pulp Fiction and Casablanca
But the way I love my wife
And my father and my mother
And a good rescue
Cause that is what I’ve had—a good rescue
And life is sweet like honey
Not because it’s easy
And certainly not because I feel good all the time
But because I have found joy in a rescued life that I can hope in
When I take a deep breath inventory
I have to realize all I have is love
And I love the love
The rest will go away someday
But I will always count on love
And that is joyful all on its own.