Look for the blessings

So, I'm switching from the senior-mom-hat back to the teacher-hat and writing from the teacher heart today.

That wasn't my intention when I sat down to write a poem, but as the words came tumbling out, that's the direction they led. I fell in love with poetry and specifically with rhyme back when I was about ten years old, and I've never tired of it since. When my world gets quiet and thoughts stir in my head about something, those thoughts don't tend to fall together until they spill out in rhyme.

I can't stop thinking about just how full February felt and how it utterly exhausted me by the end of the month. I tried to add some extra personal things to my schedule, forgetting what a bear the month can be at school, but it all truly wiped me out. I couldn't wait for a week off to just relax and reconnect with my family before getting back in the race to finish the school year strong.

Gettiing through all those parent conferences was incredibly taxing, but I'm so glad for that recent strong connection with parents because I had no idea how much I'd need them to stand behind me and trust me for the rest of the school year.

I'm so glad I went on that writer's retreat, as stressful as it was to fit in, because it reminded me how much I miss when I don't take the time to write. It drew my heart back in to the one thing I enjoy more than anything, the one gift I have to give others when the world grows quiet and I grow quieter still.

I'm so glad I spent time with my mom that last weekend in February, then a day with my parents for lunch, coffee, and shopping, and then once more for tea with my mom during spring break because I had no idea it would be the last time we could physically get together for quite awhile.

I'm so glad I scratched my plans that last Friday and gave my kids a chance to shop in our class store so they walked away with a happy memory of what might have been their last day in my class. I'm so glad I sent home their Reading book we just finished, and all their old pencils, promising new ones upon return. I'm so glad I found a birthday card on the back of a Little Debbie treat box and gave it to my student whose birthday was the day AFTER spring break, a day I assumed I would see him, just to make him feel special. Little promptings I'm so glad I followed through on.

More than anything, I'm so glad I've been teaching my students since they were four years old that they are in charge of their own learning, and that learning happens everywhere, all the time, and it feels good every time we learn something new. I'm so glad I encouraged them to be creative rather than following a rigid rule of how their work needed to look.

I miss them, but I'm so encouraged by what they've shown me so far. Of course, I have students I need to call and beg for work--just like at school. But for the most part, that's not the case. On the contrary, these kids have an incredible opportunity to learn differently, at their own pace. How much they want to learn is completely up to them.  I'm not convinced that's a bad thing right now.

Behind the Current Crisis
February felt so fullMy calendar was packedActivity filled each dayMargin severely lacked.
First one weekend filled upThen a second one claimed time, too.When the last weekend plan came,I reluctantly pushed through.
Extra meetings filled the weekdaysWith parent conferences and SST’s,Added student challenges, And testing that wouldn’t cease. 
Spring break Friday finally cameThat first weekend in March.My body thirsted for restAs so much frenzy left me parched. 
Class had to be fun againMy kids needed a rewardAll the endless testingHad left them tired and bored.
We set up a class storeAnd spread all the goodies outThey spent all their plastic coinsAnd learned what money’s all about. 
I sent home extra booksOld pencils and suppliesThe expectation to keep learningCame to them as no surprise. 
My job as their teacherIs to equip and to inspireSo they can guide themselvesTo always learn and never tire.
To engage with a new bookAnd get lost in it for hoursWhether it be about real lifeOr a kid with superpowers.
To practice making problemsAnd add big numbers upTo practice math in the kitchenand use a measuring cup.
To find new things to learnTo problem solve all dayTo create something new and funAnd make connections while they play.
That Friday when we said goodbyeWith their backpacks extra fullWe never could have imaginedWe might not come back to school. 
Now I’m left to guide themThrough a video and a screen.They’re the ones in charge nowAs we do school in quarantine.
They’ve stepped up to the challengeSending pics of their notebooks, Videos explaining their learningCute photos of their reading nooks.
Their creativity blossomsPride in their presentation has improvedThe work is suddenly organizedAnd their sweet comments leave me moved.
Though I set out to inspireThey now daily inspire meWith the joy they find in learningAnd their boundless creativity. 
My body now feels restedAs all the rush has ceased.I grade papers from my phoneMy digital knowledge has increased.
I get snuggles from my kitty nowIn place of my students’ daily hugs.I drink my morning coffeeFrom my huge supply of teacher mugs.
I am still their teacherBut truly they are teaching me.That learning looks so differentWhen mixed with creativity.
They’re working at their own paceIn their chosen cozy spot.They choose different modes of presentationThan perhaps the one I sought.
They’re directing their own learningAnd finding ways to organizePerhaps behind this current crisisLies a blessing in disguise.