WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA?

From an actual publicist email I received today:

"I am looking for reviewers for a nonfiction historical novel and I thought you might be interested."

I am not, as regular readers know, a publicist basher; quite the contrary, in fact.  Most of the publicists I deal with are thoughtful and thorough people.  But when I read something like this, I do despair. I mean, seriously - come on.  Some poor writer is paying for this service. 

So, to my hapless correspondent, when you've figured out what...