How Do We Choose Love and Grace Over Being Right?
Sometimes I just like being right.
And that’s when I usually end up saying the wrong thing.
Yes, I’m telling you this because I “righted” myself into the wrong corner a few days ago. I didn’t realize how my conversation with my friend Gianna had veered into unexpected territory until she said, “You’re angry with me, aren’t you?”
I stopped talking for a moment. (I’m sure Gianna appreciated the silence.) Then I said, “No, I’m not angry with you.”
And I wasn’t.
What I was doing was trying to convince her of my point of view about something. It doesn’t matter what we were talking about. I had one opinion and she had another and, well, I liked my opinion better than hers.
Ahem.
I thought we were just having a discussion, but somehow what I said … how I said it … how I kept talk-talk-talking … made Gianna think I was angry with her. Our conversation had gone way-wrong, and yes, it was my fault.
Here’s the funny part, friends: before all this happened, I’d planned the topic for today’s blog. And no, I wasn’t going to share about a personal moment of failure, but it is a perfect “don’t do this” example.
My long-distance writer-friend Wendy MacDonald wrote this in her newsletter:
“Conversations led by love lead to life.”
Her words stayed with me for days, reminding me of the Bible verse encouraging us to speak with grace. (Colossians 4:6)
But my desire to be right ran over love and grace. I wasn’t thinking about loving my friend while I kept restating my opinion. Nope, I was thinking about convincing her. I wasn’t listening to her – except maybe waiting to hear her say, “You’re right.”
Hardly a two-sided conversation, is it?
My One Word for 2020 is “LISTEN,” and my best conversations are when I talk less and listen more.
And that was my misstep the other day. I forgot to listen more than I talked. All because I wanted to be right.
You want to know the most-right thing I did?
I told Gianna I was sorry. And I asked her to forgive me. And being the wonderful friend that she is, she forgave me. She let me change the conversation to something else so we could get back to being us … and get past my mistake.
I’m going to remember that loving conversations lead to life – thanks to my friend Wendy – and look for opportunities to listen more and talk less in the days to come. Care to join me?
How Do We Choose Love and Grace Over Being Right? https://bit.ly/2wQkXYA #relationships #encouragement
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'The first duty of love is to listen.' Quote by Paul Tillich https://bit.ly/2wQkXYA #listening #friendships
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