Top Ten Of My Most Favorite Lines From “Fawlty Towers”
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One of my favorite comedies is the British show, “Fawlty Towers,” staring John Cleese from Monty Python fame. Not only did he star in the lead, he wrote the show with his ex-wife, Connie Boothe. She also starred in the show. The setting is a beachside hotel in Torquay, England. It’s a mom and pop shop, twenty-two rooms. Cleese is the pop and most of the comedy is trying to get away with things, mostly hiding them from his wife. It is equally well-written and acted. It only lasted for two seasons and a dozen episodes. So my top ten favorite lines from this series is one line per episode while leaving out two of the shows. And of course, my favorite really means the funniest, but only in the context of the show. Here we go.
10 “He’s from Barcelona.” every show – This is a catch phrase found in every episode. Whenever Manuel, the Spanish waiter, goofs up, this is the excuse given to the other guests.
9 “A lemon fizz, orange and gin, and a scotch and water.” season1, episode 1, “A Touch of Class” – In the second half of the episode, a family tries in vain to place their drinks order, so it’s repeated many times, but never filled because of the main action.
8 “It’s always a pleasure to meet someone who appreciates the boudoir of the grape. I’m afraid that most of the people we get in here don’t know a Bordeaux from a claret.” season 1, episode 4, “The Hotel Inspectors” – Basil tries to impress a guest who knows wine, but almost accuses him of being a lush. Also, the Bordeaux is a claret.
7 “If the good Lord wanted us to worry, He would have given us something to worry about. He has, my wife.” season 1, episode 2, “The Builders” – O’Reilly is a builder that Basil likes because he’s cheap, but Sybil hates because he’s a screw-up. After his latest botch, he minimizes it, only for Basil to frame the seriousness correctly.
6 “Is this a piece of your brain?” season 2, episode 1, “Communication Problems” – An elderly lady complains of everything and tries to get her bill reduced. The funny part is that she’s hard of hearing and doesn’t use her hearing aid because it runs the battery down. After she banged her head on a shelf, Basil asks this delicious question.
5 “If they don’t like building cars, why don’t they get themselves another bloody job, building cathedrals or composing violin concertos?” season 2, episode 4, “The Kipper and the Corpse” – Basil has just delivered breakfast toa guest in his room. Basil is complaining about the latest strike. He hasn’t notice that the guest is dead.
4 “You do have rats in Spain, don’t you, or did Franco have them all shot?” season 2, episode 6, “Basil the Rat” – After a hotel inspector threatens to shut down the place, Basil sees that Manuel ha a pet rat, which Manuel insists is a hamster. The pet’s name is, of course, Basil.
3 “What is a Waldorf? A walnut’s that’s gone off?” season 2, episode 3, “Waldorf Salad” – A Dirty American and his British wife check in just as the kitchen closes. The guest pays to keep the kitchen open, but Basil keeps the money and tries to run everything himself. He’s flummoxed when the American orders a Waldorf Salad.
2 “Duck’s off.” season 1, episode 5, “Gourmet Night” – Basil’s gourmet chef gets drunk on the inaugural night of Gourmet Night and has to order out from a local restaurant. This changes the menu to duck, only for the food delivered to a mound of ground liver. When asked about the duck, Basil replies succinctly.
1 “Don’t mention the war.” season 1, episode 6 “The Germans” – German stay at the hotel, just after Basil in hospitalized for concussion. He warns the staff not to mention WW2, which Basil does continually in his concussed state. Remember, this is the 70s and Hitler was not too far in the past still.
I hope this encourages you to watch the show, or rewatch it. it’s one of the best ever.