Me: Hey, honey. Can you come here for a sec? I want to talk to you about something.

Me: Hey, honey. Can you come here for a sec? I want to talk to you about something.

Wife: Yeah, of course. What’s up?

Me [looking in mirror]: Look how good I look.

Wife: Jesus.

Me: I mean, Adonis? Maybe.

Wife: Stop.

Me: Seriously, though. This bod.

Wife: No.

Me: Hello, sailor.