So I went down to the Co-op today to get some peanut butter and what in the fuck?

11.2 million dollars per gram for organic peanut butter. Gal in front of me was buying a jar and she actually had the title to her car and was signing it over.

Shit, man.

The guy behind the counter, you know the young one with the afro, he says there was a tragic peanut crop failure.

"Well, it was bound to happen, what with Jimmy Carter getting out of the business," I told him.

He looked at me blankly, which is generally how people look at me.

So no more bulk peanut butter for the foreseeable future, which sucks ass because I really like buying as much or as little as I want. Now I have to get it in jars like the archaic heathens do over in the regular stores. And it's well over a grand for a jar.

So I'm like fuckit I'll get almond butter and am sitting here having almond butter sandwiches for lunch. Don't you wish you were me?

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Published on January 11, 2012 11:28
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