Words of wisdom

The Petco clerk tells me shes like a cockroach.

Ive see everything, honey. This aint gonna kill me.

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Who wore it better? Bieber or the lesbians?

She wears a pair of one-size-too-big jeans cinched at the waist by a thick brown leather belt. Her hair is styled like Justin Biebers circa 2012. Her laugh is loud like shattered glass.

And if it does, Ive got news for you. Were all gonna go sometime.

For some reason, her bravado makes me feel better.

Mr. Rogers said in times of crisis to look for the...