Coping with Coronavirus Isolation

Photo by Dustin Dagamac on Unsplash

So, in the midst of this coronavirus pandemic/non-zombie apocalypse, I was chatting with a friend of mine over Facebook Messenger. As we chatted, it became pretty clear that she was looking for a reason, ANY reason, to leave her apartment and go somewhere. So, I naturally went into guy mode and talked about flattening the curve, the healthcare infrastructure, and why social distancing was so critical. I also said if the isolation was getting to her that she could call me and I’d happily bore her with obscure factoids. She said that talking on the phone wasn’t the same as being there with someone.

Yes, of course, I missed the boat entirely. I was thinking about the situation from the perspective of an emotionless robot. My friend is smart and no doubt understood all the things I said to her before I said them. Hashtag accidental mansplaining. The metamessage that I utterly failed to pick up on was that this whole social isolation thing had an emotional cost/mental health toll for her that I wasn’t considering.

In my defense, I’ve done the work from home as a writer thing for most of the last 15 years. I’m used to limited human contact. A couple of minutes of conversation with a random stranger at the grocery store or with my mailman can keep me going for days.

Now that my brain and severely limited EQ has finally caught up with that conversation, I realize that my friend is probably having the normal reaction. We are social beings by biological programming. There’s physical safety in the warm embrace of a solid social support system. Of course, it goes deeper than that. Socializing with people supports mental health, physical health, and overall well-being.

So, while going out and physically visiting with friends and family may not be advisable, total isolation probably isn’t helping your brain. My friend is right that talking on the phone isn’t the same as being there, but it’s better than nothing. You can also take advantage of options like Facetime, Skype video calling, or other video call programs. Seeing the other person can help remove some of the feelings of isolation.

You can jump into shared movie nights with Netflix Party. I won’t go into a lengthy explanation since this article does it just fine. Basically, you watch the same thing at the same time and chat about it in real-time.

For the love of God, turn off the news. Yes, you need to stay informed, but a constant barrage of pandemic news isn’t going to help your sense of well-being. This may mean you need to disconnect from social media as well. I just went on Twitter and it was like the All Coronavirus Channel. (I’m only slightly exaggerating. I follow writers, so there was also writing talk.) Find lighthearted things to watch instead, like old I Love Lucy episodes or a comedy film that you enjoy. Pro tip: you can watch all of I Love Lucy on Hulu. CBS.com offers a random selection of episodes from the first season for free.

Listen to a funny audiobook. I recommend Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchet. Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker books and Dirk Gently books are highly amusing. If you’re not on Audible or don’t have any credits left right now, you should see if your library offers Overdrive. Overdrive is basically a collection of ebooks and audiobooks you can borrow for free. You’ll probably need to download the app to your phone or tablet of choice and get signed in, but it’s pretty straightforward after that.

Most importantly, be nice to yourself. If you find the isolation depressing, it’s not a character flaw. It means that you’re probably normal and crave a normal amount of social interaction. Call your family. Chat with your neighbors from a safe distance. I’ll also be checking the comments section of this post, my Facebook author page, and my Twitter feed on regular basis. If you don’t have anyone else, reach out and I’ll do my best to respond in a timely manner.

If, for any reason, you feel like you might harm yourself in this time of isolation, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.