From Claimed
Editing has been pretty painful on this novel, probably because Ana and Josh are my favorite couple and I really want to get them right. let me know what you think...
New:
5: Ana
The man looked like a Norse god, kissed like an incubus, and he was a devoted big brother who wouldn’t dream of leaving his baby sister behind just because his friends dragged him out to meet a girl at a tattoo parlor? Added to his commanding tone when he wanted to know my name. So different from Gage’s whiny bossiness that he sent shivers down my spine. Alone that told me how much trouble I could find with him if I gave in to the desire presently searing through me. My lips still tingled from his kiss even as I cradled his sister to my chest. Sister! Not his girlfriend, not even a redhead, and not nearly as possessive of her brother as Eva had led me to believe! The way the adorable, dimpled and cherubic little girl clung to me utterly astounded me. I don’t have a lot of experience with children but with her, I felt as though I knew exactly what to do. Just love her, the voice of my late mother ghosted through my head. Since my mother had never steered me wrong in life, I gave in and snuggled the little girl firmly against my chest. Feelings of peace enveloped me as though cuddling with her was the most natural and right thing in the entire world.The instant attraction for me with this pair of siblings blew my mind. Mellie would definitely be the safer of the two to fall in love with if I were given the choice. Judging by Eva’s self-satisfied smirk in response to Mellie’s declaration, I considered my ass thoroughly bitten, again, not in the fun way… the warning signs had been there and I’d stupidly pushed them away. At least I saw them, progress?
Previous:
5: Ana
The man looked like a Norse god, kissed like an incubus and he was a devoted big brother who wouldn’t dream of leaving his baby sister behind just because his friends dragged him out to meet a girl at a tattoo parlor? Added to his commanding tone when he wanted to know my name, so different from Gage’s whiny bossiness, it sent shivers down my spine and I knew I was in serious trouble with him. My lips still tingled from his kiss even as I cradled his sister to my chest. The girl was adorable, dimpled and cherubic. I didn’t have a lot of experience with children but with her, I felt as though I knew exactly what to do. Just love her, a voice ghosted through my head. I snuggled her firmly and did just that like it was the most natural thing in the world. The instant attraction for me with this pair of siblings. Mellie would definitely be the safer of the two to fall in love with if I were given the choice. Judging by Eva’s self-satisfied smirk in response to Mellie’s declaration, I considered my ass thoroughly bitten, again, not in the fun way… the warning signs had been there and I’d stupidly ignored them.
New:
5: Ana
The man looked like a Norse god, kissed like an incubus, and he was a devoted big brother who wouldn’t dream of leaving his baby sister behind just because his friends dragged him out to meet a girl at a tattoo parlor? Added to his commanding tone when he wanted to know my name. So different from Gage’s whiny bossiness that he sent shivers down my spine. Alone that told me how much trouble I could find with him if I gave in to the desire presently searing through me. My lips still tingled from his kiss even as I cradled his sister to my chest. Sister! Not his girlfriend, not even a redhead, and not nearly as possessive of her brother as Eva had led me to believe! The way the adorable, dimpled and cherubic little girl clung to me utterly astounded me. I don’t have a lot of experience with children but with her, I felt as though I knew exactly what to do. Just love her, the voice of my late mother ghosted through my head. Since my mother had never steered me wrong in life, I gave in and snuggled the little girl firmly against my chest. Feelings of peace enveloped me as though cuddling with her was the most natural and right thing in the entire world.The instant attraction for me with this pair of siblings blew my mind. Mellie would definitely be the safer of the two to fall in love with if I were given the choice. Judging by Eva’s self-satisfied smirk in response to Mellie’s declaration, I considered my ass thoroughly bitten, again, not in the fun way… the warning signs had been there and I’d stupidly pushed them away. At least I saw them, progress?
Previous:
5: Ana
The man looked like a Norse god, kissed like an incubus and he was a devoted big brother who wouldn’t dream of leaving his baby sister behind just because his friends dragged him out to meet a girl at a tattoo parlor? Added to his commanding tone when he wanted to know my name, so different from Gage’s whiny bossiness, it sent shivers down my spine and I knew I was in serious trouble with him. My lips still tingled from his kiss even as I cradled his sister to my chest. The girl was adorable, dimpled and cherubic. I didn’t have a lot of experience with children but with her, I felt as though I knew exactly what to do. Just love her, a voice ghosted through my head. I snuggled her firmly and did just that like it was the most natural thing in the world. The instant attraction for me with this pair of siblings. Mellie would definitely be the safer of the two to fall in love with if I were given the choice. Judging by Eva’s self-satisfied smirk in response to Mellie’s declaration, I considered my ass thoroughly bitten, again, not in the fun way… the warning signs had been there and I’d stupidly ignored them.
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