When the Hijab is a Burden
Nearly 1400 years ago, the worst society in human history turned into the best one all because one revolutionary dared to be different.
“Allah will not be merciful to those who are not merciful to people.” – (Sahih Al-Bukhari 6941, Sahih Muslim 2319)
Good things will come to you if you are good to others. It goes without saying that one should at least refrain from actively hurting others if we cannot show them kindness. This hadith reveals that Allah’s mercy doesn’t extend to those who don’t show other’s mercy. While passing judgment is reserved for appointed officials, we are not required to go out of our way to be kind to generally unkind people.
How is this related to the hijab? Mercy is the foundation of Islam and an integral part of every concept in our religion including the hijab. As you are aware, the style of covering for Muslim women like many other Islamic rulings has a historical context. According to my understanding, men and women around the world traditionally covered their heads during that time. Even today, you will see them in the traditional clothing of every region. Allah’s wisdom can be seen through this because no matter where a Muslim woman went, she would never fall below the moral standards of that region. It is important to note that there is no legal punishment for women who don’t cover their heads. Keep that in mind before you decide to judge a Muslim woman for her choice in clothing despite the fact that Allah Forbade us from passing judgments on character in this manner.
It is no secret that Muslim women are constantly slut shamed for not adhering to the wardrobe preferences of the person in front of them. However, I want to talk about our hijabi sisters first because their stories are heartbreaking and rarely gain attention. A long time ago, a proposal came for me and the man’s mother did not want her daughter-in-law to wear hijab. The reason she gave was that living in the US as a hijabi was dangerous. There’s no doubt that anti-Muslim sentiment in the West were strong at time and have only grown worse. However, an overwhelming majority considers hijab a direct command of Allah and billions of Muslim women wear it to please Him. There were some important things that lady chose to overlook. What if her daughter-in-law chose to wear the hijab later on in life? What if she got attacked for her Muslim name, acts of worship or race? Islam is a way of life and there are a million things that can identify you as a Muslim. Needless to say, I was pretty angry at her illogical prejudice towards the hijab and refused even though I don’t wear it myself. In another instance, a non-hijabi friend of mine got married to a man living in the UK who agreed marry a Pakistani woman but not a hijabi because that type was too conservative. Of course, that grated on my nerves as well especially since there are a kazillion progressive hijabis and a piece of cloth does not represent your level of piety. I’ve heard time and time again the sick treatment of hijabis by matchmakers who claim that hijabis can’t land good proposals unless they remove their hijabs. Well, that makes zero sense to a decent person but please allow me to elaborate. Rishta culture in Pakistan is based on judging the suitability of a potential wife in two ways: money and looks. A hijabi or niqabi chooses to conceal her beauty for the sake of Allah. They are not comfortable removing their hijabs or niqabs in front of the potential husband’s family particularly since male family members tag along uninvited. A common custom is to “check out” the woman’s beauty by asking her parents for pictures. Quite convenient to reject an “ugly” woman so you won’t have to waste time eating free food at her home. This behaviour is not limited to rishta culture. You will frequently see hijabis being mocked as “behn jee” and “maasi”. These are the some of the nicer words both men and women use to bully them. There are husbands who demand that their wives cover up more and then openly lust after women who dress the opposite. On the other hand, there are men who force their wives to take off their hijabs after marriage because they don’t look “attractive” with it as if she were a showpiece. It is perfectly fine to have your preferences in a life partner but your preference becomes meaningless once it infringes on another’s rights. Women are human beings and they can decide to cover up or remove their hijab at any time. This should never be a deal breaker when choosing a wife. You might think that teachers practice good values like equality but that is not always the case. A hijabi friend of mine enrolled in a Masters degree at a prestigious women’s college and one of the subjects was taught by an appalling man. He was extremely prejudiced against hijabis and niqabis going as far as to fail them in that subject. My friend and others like her tried to put up with his gross behaviour but eventually, my friend left that degree unfinished and enrolled elsewhere. What’s more alarming is that men have this idea that hijabi women are “tame” and easier targets for sexual abuse. There’s an endless list of incidents where women covered from head to toe have been sexually harassed on the street. The attitude our society has towards hijabis is absolutely disgusting and needs to change like yesterday.
There’s a strange misinterpretation of the verse that talks about a Muslim woman’s attire in the Quran. People have the impression that covering yourself a certain way will somehow protect you from being sexually abused and automatically give you respect in society. I’ve spent this whole time describing the injustice hijabis face in this country so it’s obvious that the respect part is false. Coming to the claim of protection, there’s literally no evidence to support it and a colossal pile of rape cases exist that prove otherwise. Sticking to this flimsy claim, we have now arrived at the most disturbing belief: women who don’t cover their heads are fair game for rapists because “they had it coming”. Please note that this belief extends to all forms of clothing considered “indecent” by the person who boldly shares this idea. This is victim blaming at its finest and there are dozens of logical arguments against it that I don’t even have to repeat. The mere thought that someone deserves to be raped is mindboggling and when connected to clothing, it is a miracle the human brain stays intact through this storm of stupidity. Women are groped and catcalled during the Tawaf right in front of the Kabah by men who are apparently there for worship. We can see how the hijab is directly connected to rape culture in the Muslim world. It has been turned into a weapon to slut shame women who don’t wear it and justify the horrific sexual abuse they have endured. The Ummah is at its lowest point in history because of sectarian division yet we have the audacity to blame it on the attire of Muslim women.
The hijab is a blessing. Stop turning it into a burden.
