How Chapter One of ‘The Soulless’ Reflects My Own Personal Nightmare

I became a teacher sixteen years ago, and I’ve never regretted it. Connecting with students and giving feedback on their essays are some of my favorite parts of the job. (Showing up for an 8 o’clock class is my least favorite…) My husband, who has been a teacher for over thirty years, has been an excellent mentor, and I admire the rapport his has with h[image error]is classes. Overall, teaching has provided good careers for both of us.

But sometimes teaching terrifies me.

School shootings are becoming more and more common here in the U.S., and there have been times when going in front of a class can feel like standing before a firing squad. Literally. To do our jobs, my husband and I have to participate in things like active shooter drills. We have to know how to protect our students in the event of a school shooting. The chance of this happening is small, but it’s there. And the implications of that are horrible.

In The Soulless, the teachers at Twin Rivers High School are dealing with the aftermath of this very nightmare. A student in their sleepy, little town brought a gun to school and the worst possible thing happened. The thing that sometimes keeps teachers, students, and parents awake at night. Ernie Kloster, the book’s hero, escaped with his life, but he still has to walk into his classroom and start teaching again. He has to return to the school which has become the place of nightmares. 

I wrote these first few chapters of The Soulless by delving into my own dark nightmares of what might happen if such a terrible thing happened to me or my loved ones. These chapters were incredibly real to me. Even now, when I hear the chapters being read out loud, I get chills.

In some ways, horror is based on reality. Horror gives our darkest fears a shape. But it can also help us overcome these fears by helping us to face them. We don’t have to be helpless. We can fight back.

Listen to chapter one of The Soulless here.