And yes I miss him

On Thursday my father passed away early in the morning. He was suffering from IPF, an incurable lung disease. The last two weeks had been the worst--he had difficult moving about, could not swallow much, was weak as a kitten. I'm relieved his suffering is over and he passed in his sleep.

He was 78. Had served in Korea. Had worked as an investment banker in one of the Twin Towers. Had given me much of my imagination, my humor, my personality.

Seeing him dead in his chair, covered with so many blankets, he reminded me of the big reveal in "The Whisperer in the Darkness." Waxy pale hands and face. As if he had been replaced.

So the weekend was spent was sitting shiva, driving back and forth to the funeral home (he was cremated), family antics, family drama, old friends and relatives, and way too much food.

I am trying to ensure my mother is okay. She's my main concern. She has never been on her own. Their apartment is both larger and smaller. And I have to help with the finances now there is less income for her.

And I'm a bit more lonely these days.