When Support Is Not Given

This week I have been thinking a lot about the last two years of my writing career. It has been a long road that has been paved with blood, sweat, and tears. It is a road I am proud of and one that I needed in so many ways. The fact that I didn’t realize I needed my writing until I went back to doing it, makes it even more special to me. In some ways, I feel like my writing career has saved me. It has helped me find who I was when I lost myself. I have talked on more than one occasion about the people who have helped me get to where I am. All the support I have been given. I am so grateful for those individuals and all of the friends I have made as well along the way. The authors I have made friends with are amazing people that make my life so much more enjoyable. The friends who are not authors are just as important to me as my author friends.

The thing is as great as my support team is, there are those that will never support me. We all have experienced this. Some of those people are people you may even feel should support you but don’t. It is heartbreaking to feel like you are failing, due to lack of support by those that should have your back. It makes you question if you are doing the right thing. It makes you ask yourself if you should be sacrificing so much of yourself when not everyone sees all the good it has brought you. Eventually, you have to make a decision if those people that do not support you, are right in their assessment of you. What I have learned is those who do not support you tend to do so out of selfishness. They see you struggling, working day and night, and they are not getting what they used to get from you. They see the work you are doing as if they are losing something. In a way they are right. You are not giving them all the attention they are used to getting from you. They are not getting your time or effort. Your true passion is. The other part of it is jealousy on their part. Maybe they haven’t found their true passion. Maybe they haven’t found what drives them to want greatness. Whatever the case, it is more a failure on their part.

So the question is what do you do? Do you give up what you have worked for? I can tell you that is not the answer. Do you try to be patient with them? The answer is yes, but to a point. There comes a point where you can be patient and try to give them time to adjust to your new life you have created. You changed the game and now they have to catch up. It happens and in some cases, people can adjust, it just takes time. On the other hand, there will be a few who will never adjust. They will do everything in their power to stop you from achieving your goals. They will try to sabotage you. They will accuse you of being too focused on your goals and ignoring them. They may even blame you for everything that is going wrong for them or how they are feeling. The thing is none of that is your fault. Some people will never be happy for you because of the simple fact that misery loves company. The only thing you can do is accept that they will never support you nor will they ever want to be part of what you are doing. And as much as it sucks to say this, it’s okay that they don’t. At the end of the day, the only one losing anything is them. They are missing out on this amazing journey you are on. They are missing out on being part of this transformation you are going through.

So stay your course. Learn that not everyone is your friend who pretends to be. Love yourself more than you do others. Love what you are doing. Anyone who doesn’t support you, it’s their loss. Cut the ties when you know they will never support you. Enjoy the memories of those people but see them for what they have become. Stay strong and be who you are. Until next time!