Short Story - The Man in the Restaurant - Grant Eagar

Prompt: Full Grown Man with his hat on backwards


James was a full-grown man, grown quite large. He had the notion that he was still a teenager, which at 40 looked rather odd. He still wore his john deer tractor hat on backwards and had his jeans pulled way down so you could see his too-old boxer shorts which sported a duck hunting pattern.
He smiled at his waitress and tried to wink at her but he had never mastered a good wink so he looked like he was wincing in pain.
The waitress, a red headed woman in her early thirties rolled her eyes and pulled out the note pad. “What can I git fur ya, honey?”
He smiled brightly and tried another wink at her. “Are you alright?” she asked.
Since the winking bit was not working, he tried batting his eyes at her. “I was just thinking of what you can get for me.” She gave him the stink eye and he changed his tack. “Ah Ya, I’ll have the bacon and eggs breakfast with a cinnamon roll and hot chocolate, uh honey,” more eye batting.
She took the menu and glowered at him. “I’ll have your hot chocolate out in a minute.” She turned and walked back to the kitchen.
He removed his gum and applied it to the bottom of the table then wiped his nose with the back of his hand and rubbed it off on his pant leg. He spied four teenage girls in a booth and tried to give them his cool sophisticated look pursing his lips and pushing his hat back showing the ragged haircut his mother had given him.
The girls gave him the once over then offered him their best creeper-be-gone look and turned and laughed at him.
The waitress came back and quickly plopped the hot chocolate down and walked away without making eye contact.
He sighed and watched her leave then picked up the hot chocolate and put it to his mouth, it was too hot, and he cursed and put the cup down and took a drink of water. Did all of humanity despise him today?
Then he glanced up and his eyes widened, a woman in her late thirties lumbered into the restaurant. It seemed like the sun was shinning on her and the angels were singing, she wore a tube top two sizes too small and cutoff jeans shorts three sizes too small. She smiled at him with most of her teeth and waddled up and sat at the bar stool next to him.