Blind Date A Book 2020 – Book #19
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Chapter 1
Sandra and I have been friends since kindergarten. Back then we used to have tea parties with our stuffed animals and dollies, or pretend we were princesses waiting for our princes to ride up on white horses and take us away. By the time we were in middle school, we were calling one another “sister” because we felt closer than any blood relation.
We always asked for the same gifts for Christmas, but since my family had considerably less money than hers, that meant she kept her requests much more reasonable than need be. If her parents surprised her with something extravagant, she would refuse to play with it or even break it on purpose just so we would stay on even ground.
Sandra was always smarter than me, and in our senior year she got into Northwestern University. She chose not to go because the only school I’d been accepted to was a small college the next town over. We went together, took teaching jobs at the same elementary school after graduation. We were so close we earned the collective nickname “the Siamese Sisters” since we seemed to be conjoined.
We even got married within the same year, Sandra in early April to Bob and me mid-October to Frank. I found out shortly thereafter that I couldn’t have children, and Sandra made the choice not to have any herself. She didn’t want to take the journey of motherhood if I couldn’t take the same journey.
I recognized just how much Sandra sacrificed for me, so that we could be together and that our lives would stay on the same path. It was incredibly selfless of her, but she didn’t seem to see it that way. She said it was just what sisters did for one another. They shared everything, both the joy and the pain. I repeatedly vowed to repay her someday though she said it wasn’t necessary.
And then Sandra’s husband died a month ago. I have tried to be there for her, to comfort her, but for the first time in our lives, she has pulled away from me, withdrawing into her own sense of grief and loss. That grief built a wall between us I couldn’t seem to breach, and it was lonely on my side of that wall all alone.
I have come to realize that the reason I can’t help Sandra through this is because for the first time since we met, there is something we can’t share. I can sympathize but I can’t really understand the loss she feels because it is a pain I’ve never actually experienced. The only way I can comfort her is to turn my sympathy into actual understanding.
It’s a sacrifice, I realize, but after all Sandra has sacrificed for me, it’s the least I can do. And that’s why I’ve tied you to the bed, Frank, and that’s why I have this knife. I want you to understand why I’m doing this. It’s nothing personal against you, but Sandra is my sister and I have to do this for her. Once you are gone, I’ll be able to share her loss.
And sisters share everything.
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