Resting in God & Other Things I Dislike Doing

Once upon a time there was a girl named Kellyn Roth. Well, really, her name was Kelly Lyn Garrett, but sometimes it was hard for her to separate the two, especially since she always put so much pressure to perform on dear old Kellyn.

But that’s a story for another time.

The story I have to tell today is about how Kellyn Roth almost exploded because Kelly Lyn Garrett was spending way too much time as Kelly Lyn Garrett and any time she did spend at Kellyn Roth was squandered with meaningless worries and distraction.

If you’re not confused yet, you have a mind like a steel trap. You must eat a lot of fish.

But really, folks …

I have been feeling very stressed lately because … I just don’t have time to write or blog or do all the other things I really enjoy doing — and yet also take significant brain power.

I’d rather be writing and teaching writing full time right now, honestly. An author has so many little jobs that take so much energy that beyond that and doing a little coaching on the side, I’d have just enough time for the other things in life I want to do — mainly spend time with friends, relax a little, develop some important relationships, and volunteer here and there.

But sadly, life isn’t perfect. I can’t probably get enough writing students to support myself until this whole authoring thing really starts to pay, and I do enjoy working my day jobs, at least for now.

So I can’t rapid-release a series or finish a novel in a week or get everything perfectly set up on my website in a couple days. My email list is a mess — I’m responding to emails late — it’s hard to think of taking on any more commitments as I fail the ones I have (or at least I fail them in my eyes).

Nor can I control my personal life. I can’t fit my friends into nice, neat boxes where their schedules align with mine. Nor can I make them supportive in the exact way I need them to be supportive without telling them.

I can’t marry Ian yesterday, sadly.