Why I Quit Drinking
A lot of you might be thinking after reading the heading of this story that I might be some kind of alcoholic. Or, you could be thinking that I quit drinking because I now have cirrhosis of the liver because of too much vodka. These theories and any others you might be thinking of couldn't be further from the truth.
It all started the day I went to Wisconsin on vacation and I ended up getting lost in the deep woods.
I wasn't afraid of wandering around in the forest not knowing exactly where I was because, as a youth, I was a Cub Scout.
I knew, during the day, that moss grows on the north side of rocks and the lower part of tree trunks because direct sunlight will dry up the fragile plants. At night, that the Northern Star is, well, always in the north. I know how to identify poison ivy, poison oak, and poison sumac. That swiftly moving water in streams is safer to drink than pools of stagnant puddles. And that all berries are not edible.
So I was pretty sure I would find my way out of the dense woodland before I died of starvation or thirst.
Beside, I had about 5 protein bars, two water bottles, a blanket, and a pint of scotch in my backpack.
What got me to relax, or put down my guard, was the beautiful red and orange sunset, gleaming through all the branches.
The air was warm, birds were chirping, and crickets scratched theirs legs as I lay watching the wonderful colors reflecting off the leaves.
I thought to myself, what would a couple of swigs from my bottle of scotch hurt?
A couple turned into 3, 4, then the whole bottle.
I started stumbling in the dark. Determined, with a clouded mind, to finds my way to civilization. I didn't check my bearings with the Northern Star. I just kept wandering deeper into the woods.
Finally, the alcohol took its toll on me. I laid down where I stood and went to sleep.
It's when I woke up that I became frightened.
The boughs and trunks of all the surrounding trees were curved in strange ways. A lot of them were toppled over by being uprooted. And where there was usually vegetation covering the ground around the trees, was dirt or grassland.
Then I noticed there wasn't a sound except the rustling of leaves from a breeze.
As the wind increased, the noise grew louder. Branches looked as if they were waving at me to hurry up my stride. Pointing in the direction I should go.
The wind grew and the sound from the creaking trees told me I was in danger. I believe I heard tiny little voices talking about me.
That told me that I should run.
Gale force wind started breaking off branches and blowing over trees. Looking as if it was aimed at me. On more than one occasion I had to dive out of the way of a pointed broken limb which was thrown in my direction.
I feared for my life. The forest was alive and I did something to anger it.
I ran and ran as fast as I could. Suddenly, falling over an old log, rolling down a steep embankment, and landing in the middle of a paved road.
Screeching wheels and the smell of burnt rubber stopped inches from my head. An old country gent got quickly out of his car and asked, "Are you all right?"
I screamed, "The forest is alive and it's trying to kill me."
He started laughing, telling me, "You city folks are so damn funny. That's the drunken forest. These woods have a lot of groundwater beneath it, where the roots of the trees can't take a strong foothold. These woods are always moving, changing, and being uprooted with the slightest breeze."
I knew better. The fairies of the forest tried to kill me because I desecrated their sacred ground. I vowed then and there that I would never drink again. Why risk the wrath of trees or any vegetation because of my obnoxious behavior!
This is,I Swear,This Story Is Absolutely True!If You Were As Drunk As I Was.Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things.”
- George R.R. Martin -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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Sign up as a Follower,
or leave a Comment.
If it's worthy enough,
I'll answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
It all started the day I went to Wisconsin on vacation and I ended up getting lost in the deep woods.
I wasn't afraid of wandering around in the forest not knowing exactly where I was because, as a youth, I was a Cub Scout.
I knew, during the day, that moss grows on the north side of rocks and the lower part of tree trunks because direct sunlight will dry up the fragile plants. At night, that the Northern Star is, well, always in the north. I know how to identify poison ivy, poison oak, and poison sumac. That swiftly moving water in streams is safer to drink than pools of stagnant puddles. And that all berries are not edible.
So I was pretty sure I would find my way out of the dense woodland before I died of starvation or thirst.
Beside, I had about 5 protein bars, two water bottles, a blanket, and a pint of scotch in my backpack.
What got me to relax, or put down my guard, was the beautiful red and orange sunset, gleaming through all the branches.
The air was warm, birds were chirping, and crickets scratched theirs legs as I lay watching the wonderful colors reflecting off the leaves.
I thought to myself, what would a couple of swigs from my bottle of scotch hurt?
A couple turned into 3, 4, then the whole bottle.
I started stumbling in the dark. Determined, with a clouded mind, to finds my way to civilization. I didn't check my bearings with the Northern Star. I just kept wandering deeper into the woods.
Finally, the alcohol took its toll on me. I laid down where I stood and went to sleep.
It's when I woke up that I became frightened.
The boughs and trunks of all the surrounding trees were curved in strange ways. A lot of them were toppled over by being uprooted. And where there was usually vegetation covering the ground around the trees, was dirt or grassland.
Then I noticed there wasn't a sound except the rustling of leaves from a breeze.
As the wind increased, the noise grew louder. Branches looked as if they were waving at me to hurry up my stride. Pointing in the direction I should go.
The wind grew and the sound from the creaking trees told me I was in danger. I believe I heard tiny little voices talking about me.
That told me that I should run.
Gale force wind started breaking off branches and blowing over trees. Looking as if it was aimed at me. On more than one occasion I had to dive out of the way of a pointed broken limb which was thrown in my direction.
I feared for my life. The forest was alive and I did something to anger it.
I ran and ran as fast as I could. Suddenly, falling over an old log, rolling down a steep embankment, and landing in the middle of a paved road.
Screeching wheels and the smell of burnt rubber stopped inches from my head. An old country gent got quickly out of his car and asked, "Are you all right?"
I screamed, "The forest is alive and it's trying to kill me."
He started laughing, telling me, "You city folks are so damn funny. That's the drunken forest. These woods have a lot of groundwater beneath it, where the roots of the trees can't take a strong foothold. These woods are always moving, changing, and being uprooted with the slightest breeze."
I knew better. The fairies of the forest tried to kill me because I desecrated their sacred ground. I vowed then and there that I would never drink again. Why risk the wrath of trees or any vegetation because of my obnoxious behavior!
This is,I Swear,This Story Is Absolutely True!If You Were As Drunk As I Was.Jim Hauenstein,And,
“A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things.”
- George R.R. Martin -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading?
Sign up as a Follower,
or leave a Comment.
If it's worthy enough,
I'll answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
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