“I’m trying to start a company while raising a four year old...

“I’m trying to start a company while raising a four year old child.  But my business partner is a mother too, so we’re very supportive of each other. It’s a nice departure from the corporate world, where I think a lot of new mothers are made to feel like they’re laying their foot off the gas.  A lot of it is nonverbal: having work taken away, or not being included on important projects.  But I also remember being told that I ‘wasn’t being present’ at work.  And that ‘my husband needed to step up.’  My behavior did change when my child was born.  But for the better.  I became more efficient.  For the first time I was able to set limits, and have people recognize them.  My limits never seemed valid before.  Exhaustion wasn’t valid.  Mental health wasn’t valid. But having a child gave me a firm reason to say ‘no.’  It’s not ‘no’ to working harder.  It’s ‘no’ to excess.  To not redoing something twenty times when you have it on the first try.  Or creating thirty proposals because the boss would love to see ‘just one more,’ ‘just one more.’  It’s excess.  And it’s almost as bad as doing nothing.  Because what is good gets lost in the excess.  I don’t have time for it anymore.  I have to recognize what’s most important.  I don’t have time for endless debate.  I have to go straight to the source of the problem, or my kid is going to pee her pants.”