On loneliness

I struggled with shyness as a child. I spent years looking down when people talked to me, covering my mouth with my hand when I spoke, struggling and often failing to say hello to someone approaching. It's better now that I'm older, and while it's hard to know why, I think part of the answer lies in my writing.

Writing means enforced solitude, so how can it help alleviate shyness? I'm not really sure, but I think empathy has something to do with it. Writing -- and reading -- for me are acts of empathy. By living with my characters while I write their stories (and sometimes for long afterwards), I've learned to love them even with their flaws. We're all flawed, of course. I don't know why I didn't understand this when I was a kid. We're all struggling in our various ways, some visible and some invisible to outsiders.

Of all the things writing has taught me, the most important is this -- Be kind. Be kind to yourself and to others. Don't assume you know a person by how they present themselves to the world. And -- most importantly -- look for ways to reach others, to connect in a world that is moving ever faster. Writing and reading are balms for loneliness and so is saying hello even if you're scared to.