What we can handle…

Somebody once told me that God will never give us more than we can handle. They said He’ll only give us as much as we can endure. Nothing more and nothing less.

It’s hard to think that this is true when you lose a loved one. It’s hard to think that you can endure the pain when you lose somebody out of the blue. What’s worse is that it reminds you all those times you lost a dear one, and that pain multiplies and becomes ten times worse. It reminds you of the loss almost two years ago… Of the loss seventeen years ago… And of the losses that are to come.

I thought I’d managed to handle the grief, the pain that had become a constant companion. Apparently I was wrong. There’s this huge hole in my chest again, a pain that doesn’t seem to fade away. And there’s this fear that came along with the pain. Not for me, but for my parents.

What will I do when I lose them? Because eventually we’ll all meet the Creator again. But when that time comes… What will I do?

Being an only-child has its pros, but this is definitely one of the disadvantages of not having any siblings. You have to endure it all on your own. And even though the pain sometimes makes you stronger, there are times that it can break you, too.

Somebody once told me that God will never never give us more than we can handle.

Apparently God thinks I’m a bad-a$$…

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