Sunday Desperation

That dark-haired little girl

wants to run away to the cliffs surrounding the ocean

washing the dirt from her feet and hands

watching as the dirt bubbles to the surface

emptying the soot from the bottom of the boxes

She wants to be free

free to see the stars, hear the crickets

smell the ocean waves

and listen to the call of the owl and

the songs of the loons

But she’s bent over holding herself in a ball

The pain in her chest, her heart, her biceps

and the hollowness of her soul

writhes in fuzzy fear and loneliness

She’s trying to grab a hand

a metaphorical lifeline

that provides the hope that this walk will not be alone

It’s not dead girl walking

it’s tiger slayer trying, once again

to navigate the world where her past

doesn’t define her

Fear keeps her from asking

the skeleton hands of the past in for tea

Can she ask them in

Can she ask them why they crawl up her spine

and try to pull her down the rope of the past

Can she ask them to release her – to set her free

Does she set them free with a thank you or a f**k you or both

She doesn’t want to fight them anymore ~ She’s tired

She wants to set them on a raft and send them down the river

free

She wants to set both self-doubt, and fear on a leaf

and watch them take flight with the wind

free

Or maybe put it all in a balloon and set it alight

to become stardust

And when that’s done

she’ll sit for a while

breathe, say thank you ~ and rest

free

©Alexis Rose