I’m Totes Obsessed With Adam Driverz
He’s so not your average leading man that it’s intimidating. Former military, the muse of the best directors of our generation. He is tall. Thoughtful. Articulate. Hilarious?!?!?!! No one fucking expected that. Is he 20 years old? 40 years old? No one knows. He could pretty much tell you anything, couldn’t he? Adam Driver is never in life going to approach us for sex, and that is a reality that we as women are all going to have to face. Because he is married. In a private way that says, “Don’t even think about fucking with this thing that is mine.” It is equal parts hot and deflating. I got a family too Adam Driver. How can you be my free pass, Adam Driver, if you’re so focused on your wife? How? How??? That woman deserves exactly one high five, every day.
Adam Driver is that kid in high school that you were unabashedly mean to, because you were 100% sure that wasn’t ever gonna come back to bite you. And then you resolve with contrition to be a better person when you realize how wrong you were, and wonder how many other things in your life you were THIS WRONG about.
Adam Driver is also that guy in college that’s a few years older than you, has a completely different major, with classes in a completely different building, a girlfriend that looks nothing like you, and is clearly just on a completely different life trajectory that doesn’t involve you. But it doesn’t stop you from finding out whatever strangers can tell you about him, making extra long trips through campus, and on that magical day you are rewarded with his presence in the library at the same time as you, you don’t fucking approach him and talk to him (are you fucking crazy?), you hide behind a shelf at the library and quietly observe him, confident that it’s all a sign from God.
He’s the guy at the bar, that you have to sneak looks at, because you can’t quite tell if he’s hot, because his hotness is on some sort of weird time-release system that also depends on context, and that makes him rare, and that makes you want him. Because if he’s an asshole at all, then he’s not hot. Unless he’s an artist. Then he is. Unless we’re talking like… a rapper or something, then he’s not. Unless he like… raps for old people at a nursing home or something else really eccentric and unpretentious, then he’s hot again. Of course, you can’t tell all that with just a few glances at the bar, which is why you have to pretend to go to the bathroom, sneak behind a wall and observe him undisturbed and gather intel, after which you conclude… fuck. He is hot. Because he’s eating alone and wearing a fucking watch in 2020. (If you can’t tell, I did a lot of stalking in my 20’s)
As you may well know, Adam was the visual inspiration for my latest release, Halcyon, and later became character inspiration, the more research that I did. And once the research began, so, of course, did the obsession. I remember seeing him in Star Wars the first time back in the day and being all like, “Who is this weird looking emo dude that I’ve never seen?” But in the back of my mind, I was like, “Yo, do we need to bring back the tunic?”
I put on Adam Driver movies while I wrote (Paterson was a good one for this), I watched Girls (only the clips because… I can’t with this whole show), I watched Marriage Story– thrice— and the projects informed a lot of the narrative ultimately, and what I wanted to say with this novel.
So, in conclusion, I hope you’re reading Halcyon with Adam Driver in place as the hero, because if you aren’t you’re reading it wrong. I don’t wanna hear about how he’s “unredeemable” just because you can’t follow directions.
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MARRY HIM IN YOUR MIND AS I DO.
Also, read Halcyon. It sucked a little at first, but then I fixed it. There’s sex in the back of a Nissan Versa. You’re welcome. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B082Z5C3KD
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