“I used to seek out vulnerable people. It takes one to know...

“I used to seek out vulnerable people.  It takes one to know one.  I’d harp on them for minuscule things.  Just to make them feel more ostracized.  I bullied them in the same way I was being bullied.  I guess that’s why I want to be a filmmaker.  As an atonement of sorts.  To sort of explore the fear and bad feelings that I had as a kid.  But if I’m ever going to make the art I want to make, I need to be less scared of people.  I still have insane social anxiety.  If anyone looks at me, I’m convinced that they hate me.  I was just sitting on this bench, having a panic attack, because I thought everyone was judging my shirt. The whole reason I came into the city was to attend a protest meeting.  If I’m ever going to write a screenplay, I need to talk to people, and learn from them, and understand what they’re about. But I’m afraid I’ll just go to IFC Center instead, and watch Parasite for the fifth time, then go back to Jersey and lie to everyone about it.  So I’m trying to talk myself out of that.  I need to get to a place where I can trust that people are kind and loving.  And that the whole world isn’t judging me for minuscule things.  And that nobody hates me because of my shirt.”