Fighting to Survive (Journalism Edition)

We're up to our eyeballs with the day job, though happy to report that last night's moderate alcohol consumption helped us overcome a serious creative block. This afternoon's all about moving the narrative forward and avoiding mixed metaphors; in our absence, please enjoy what is inarguably Stan Bush's finest work. Not safe for the squeamish, though—kumite apparently encourages gory leg-breaking maneuvers.