Twanking on Twitter

Oh me name is Aloysius Motorola Fred McSkitter,

And I wears me dirty raincoat when I'm twanking off on Twitter,

I send my Tweets to blondie girls to read on their i-Phone,

And all the while I'm sitting here a-polishing my bone.

I'm the scourge of cyber dating, an instrument of scorn,

You call it social network, I call it network porn,

So lock up all your daughters, here comes the Twitter Twanker,

And I do it all from RBS where I'm a merchant banker.