pre pre-blog shift

I’m wondering if I’m going to end up turning this into my “writer’s blog” when I finally self-publish my first novel. I’ve decided on the self-publishing route, at least to start. I have a story I need to tell, but I’m not sure how good it is. I also believe you learn to get better at things by trying them out, and possibly, failing. Self-publishing seems like a good way to get my feet wet as a published writer.

Before I get all maudlin and precious about having a “story I need to tell” I should say that I’ve been trying to write such stories for years now. I’ve started so many novels and finished a couple, but I’ve never been truly serious about any of them. With this one, I decided to see if I could write to a genre: romance. Whether I’ve been successful doing that, or not, once I had set my mind to that goal, the story I wanted to tell emerged. I don’t know if it’s a good story, but it’s the story on my mind right now. Right now, I have the first version of that story out to beta readers, in part to figure out if what I’m trying to say is communicating itself, even a little, to other human beings. Given some early feedback, I have a hunch I’m going to have some significant work to do before I publish this first book thing. However, it’s also probably not going to be perfect. At some point, I’m just going to have to let go of it.

And who cares? In a sense, none of this matters. I’m just another person trying to write. Our numbers are legion. So I guess it matters only in the sense of deciding to commit to making something, finishing it, and trying to find an audience. In the sense of giving a shit, even if giving a shit doesn’t bring fame (or even a living, which has always been my number one concern.)

People who write stories make my life more bearable and interesting. I’m just trying to join their ranks.