When Bad Things Happen to Good Cookies

Does this picture of a gingerbread man lolling in a cup of cocoa
give you the creeps? You know he’s a cookie, right? He’s dissolving in there.
Why is this a feel-good picture and why is that damn cookie smiling? This kind
of stuff always makes me nervous.

It’s the Toy Story Affect. You can’t have it both
ways and see toys as real and then see them as not real too. And what about
M&M’s being constantly afraid right before they are devoured. Or shrimp
eating other shrimp—what commercial was that from? It’s cannibalistic. It feels
bwahaha, but not in a good way.

Is it me? I think there was another gingerbread guy in
mortal peril in the Shrek movies. Weren’t people after him while he squealed
in a really high voice? I’m not going to watch the movies to recollect, but I
think I recall something uncomfortable happening there. I guess I’m just not in
on the joke and was wondering how others felt about this fiendish narrative
playing out through innocent characters.

I can’t eat cookies that are smiling at me because of
gingerbread men. It’s not a true hardship for me, but damn, enough already. This
is why I like donuts. Until….. they’re a little less than a quarter and smiling
up at me.

Never mind, maybe it is me. I gotta lay off the peyote. And
maybe stop reading Stephen King.

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