The End Of The Year

We only have a few days left of 2019. It is crazy to think 2019 is coming to an end. This year a way has been a roller coaster of change for me. I have many ups and downs and transformations. Some of it due to circumstances, some due to me being fed up with the status quo. This blog post is going to be a little about all the ups, downs and changes I have experienced in 2019.

I started this year with the thought and goal of publishing one book, Bad Witch Walking. I had worked for the last year and a half on the book and the thought of releasing it to the world was terrifying. I took my author photo reluctantly. I set into motion buying my first cover and creating this world. Little did I know what it would mean to my world. Meeting Savannah was the best thing that could have happened to me. She gave me a swift kick in the ass, which as we all know, she does to everyone. This fictional character made me see what I had spent my life doing was not enough. I have spent most of my adult life taking care of everyone but me. I was seriously overweight, had some health issues, and was not happy with me. During the entire first half of 2019, I was focused on getting Savannah’s debut ready and I was also going through a personal transformation. I began to work out daily. I watched less T.V. and I spent more time with Savannah. I was able to finish Bad Karma and write Bad Origins. I am currently editing Bad Origins. I began to take time to read as many books as I could. I began to teach both of my kids to be more self reliant as well. They needed the independence just as much as I did. All of these changes have led to me losing a total of thirty-three inches and living a healthier life-style all around.

I also went back to having a nine to five job which was an even bigger change for me. I no longer get to just play in Savannah’s world, which can be frustrating for me, but it also created more determination in myself. It made me more dedicated to this dream of being a writer. I have to work ten times harder and get up at the butt crack of dawn but I still make sure I put in as much time as I can. I even returned to one of the things I loved when I was younger, karate. As a kid I loved doing karate until I broke my arm and quit. As an adult it is harder to learn all of the katas, blocks, and so many other things. I think I was more graceful as a kid than I am now as an adult. The thing is I am finding the joy in it again, even if I have to work twice as hard to get it. I practice on my own twice a week plus my private lesson I have once a week. I’m not quite comfortable enough with my skills to join the group classes. I will get there eventually. I am starting to see I need to make it a goal to start attending them soon.

With this transformation of my inner self, I am also meeting new people and making new friends. When I started this year I had one friend, in the area I live in, who I have known for twenty years and no one else. Now I can say I have at least four other friends here in Colorado and a number around the globe. I have met such amazing people through this journey this past year that I am so grateful for all of them. It was all because of Savannah. Deciding to write again and following through with it was the biggest win I could have given myself. It has changed me for the better or at least I believe it has. I have never been a very confident individual. In fact, I tended to believe that I was meant for nothing more than being a wife and a mother. The truth is we decide what we are capable of. We can find all of the excuses in the world not to do something. We can tell ourselves and others that we can’t do something because of time or money or skill. None of that is true. You can learn and grow and change what you do not like. You can chase your dreams if you choose to. I’m not saying it’s been an easy journey, it hasn’t been. There have been sleepless nights, tears, and questioning of myself and my sanity. I have wondered if I have fooled myself into thinking the changes I have made in my life have been worth the sacrifice, they have been because I am a happier person. I like me better. I see being a writer is who I have always been and nothing will change that. I will continue to push myself to create more for Savannah and myself.

The scary part is, I see more changes to my life on the horizon. I don’t know when they will hit or what will all come from those changes but I know they are on the way. When they do I will meet them head on and continue to do what I am doing for me.

With the new year coming take that leap of faith for yourself. Learn something new, find what makes you happy. Think about what you want in your life. Don’t make excuses just do it. Take that leap and become who you need to be. Until next time!