Learning to love the flaws
I recently published another article on Wildmind. It contains a lovingkindness practice that I've found very effective.
As I wrote in my most recent book, Living as a River:
Relating to someone as a "self"—on the basis of how we see them right now—is like seeing a video reduced to a single frame, or seeing a ball hurtling through the air in a freeze-frame photograph. It's life-denying. It's a static way of seeing things. In taking a snapshot of a thing we lose its sense of trajectory, the sense that it's headed somewhere. We're disconnected from the reality of change and process. But imagine if we could consistently see a person not as a thing but as a process—if we could, at least in our imagination—see that person …
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