The Fiver | No involvement with the continent come the end of March

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In just over a month, this shrivelled sack of an island, this miserable hovel for duped deplorables, this wee jobbie bobbing up and down near the Irish Sea, will leave the EU. But it goes without saying that The Fiver loves this country. Of course! What a glorious nation! And there would be nothing better than seeing our lads do a number on Johnny in Big Cup come May. Yay us! Morris dancing! Malnutrition! Commando magazine! Mark Francois! Do one, industry! OK, if we’re being honest with ourselves, The Fiver’s still not quite over last Thursday. Give us a little time, will you.

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