The Shallow Grave Serenade

What to do, what to do,
When a husband was untrue,
Help his wife to scrimp and save,
Throw him in a shallow grave!

When debts are owed but payments few,
It’s time to call the culling crew,
Teach your debtors to behave,
Entomb one in a shallow grave!

You best be at your best,
Lest you be laid to rest,
Receiving as you gave,
One rather shallow grave!

Is there a witness for your trial?
To speak against you foul and vile,
Teach them not to be so brave,
One bullet and a shallow grave!

Political opponent on a soapbox stand and shout,
On all your better points, loudly casting doubt,
Don’t give him chance to misbehave,
Employ assassins and a shallow grave!

You might be a mother, sweet and in your place,
If a boy smiles at your daughter, forget about your grace,
It is her honour that you save,
Dispense him to a shallow grave!

For those who cause you irritation,
Give them quick obliteration,
This, the panacea that you crave,
Some poison and a shallow grave!

It is life’s simple answer,
Solution at no cost,
A blunt object through the air to wave,
And one more, instant, shallow grave!


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