Radio Is Podcasting For Retrogrouches

Grab your Little Orphan Annie secret decoder rings, because now you can stream my radio show from yesterday!


Spoiler alert, but I'm afraid you're going to be rather disappointed in the message:


See what I mean?


As it happens, yesterday we also received our first shipment of foul winter weather.  Generally I relish the opportunity to ride to the studio in Brooklyn, for in cutting a great swath through the heart of this city I get to observe and experience much fuckery, and it's precisely my firsthand knowledge of said fuckery that makes me the engaging and authoritative radio host that I am.  At the same time, with the weather set to worsen as the day wore on I didn't necessarily want to commit to a round-trip, since when it comes to fuckery consumption even I have my limits.  And so I opted for the Brompton:


The Brompton is in many ways the ideal New York City commuting bicycle, and not just because you can fold it up and hop on the subway when you hit your fuckery threshold.  For example, the tiny wheels are also an advantage.  Oh sure, we may have potholes in this town large enough to swallow an entire Brompton, which means you've got to pay a little extra attention, but it's well worth it for one simple reason: smaller wheels equal less wheel spray.  See, between the fenders and the mudflap and the tiny wheel diameter there's a very comfortable distance between you and all that winter sludge.  Also, the bike's diminutive overall size makes it highly maneuverable in traffic, which is especially helpful when the streets are even more crowded due to snow.

But yeah, obviously the real advantage is the folding.  Not only was I able to tuck it away on the corner (and drape my Inspector Gadget jacket over it) when it was not in use:


But after the show, with the snow beginning to fall in earnest, I was also able to say "Fuck it" and hop on the subway for the ride home.

And isn't being able to say "Fuck it" whenever you feel like it what living is all about?

You're welcome for the free ad slogan, Brompton.

By the way, if you saw me on the subway straddling my British folding bike and wearing both a hand-tailored jacket and a smug grin, you'd probably have thought, "That looks like precisely the sort of asshole who's in love with the sound of his own voice"--and you'd be absolutely right, because I spent the entire ride listening to my own radio show.

Moving on to full-sized bikes, Cyclingnews gravel-splains why your next tiny pebble-specific bike needs to be made from the crabon:

Why your next gravel bike needs a carbon-fibre framehttps://t.co/7XBRt5rnRX pic.twitter.com/tNmcQVZYXL— Cyclingnews.com (@Cyclingnewsfeed) December 3, 2019

Basically, it's because crabon has "infinite diversity:"
This is a great point.  Other frame materials such as steel, aluminum, and titanium have one or maybe two molecules at most.  It's true, I learned about it in science.  Something about Avocado's number and how many molecules fit inside a Mole.  A lot of chemistry is about dips and sauces.

This was also compelling:


Oh please.  Sure, crabon is good for making racing bikes.  It's light, it's strong, and it rides good.  There are certainly valid reasons to choose a bike made from it.  But if you're being tormented by "small-bump juddering" and suffering from "terrain induced vibration fatigue" you're either using the wrong tires or you need to find another leisure sport.  I'd recommend one that involves making no contact with the ground whatsoever, such as boating.  (Bonus: you still get to obsess over crabon.)

That said, I'm totally getting a crabon folding bike.  Just think how much more efficient my commute will be when portaging it over the subway turnstile...