Dangerous Words

Yesterday, as I arrived at one of the schools I work with, I found the staff poised somewhere between hilarity, disgust and fury. A parent had brought in an article from the Sun, they said, which meant that they had now realised that several of their pupils were wearing 'shag bands'.

This was a new one on me, and in case the same in true for you: a shag band is a rubbery bracelet, the colour of which signifies a sexual favour you're willing to give. Apparently, they're mainly worn by girls, a...