10 Tips for a Happy Healthy Great Pyrenees

Build them a large dog house that gives them insulation and plenty of room to turn around.

Then watch the dog house collect chicken nests and baby goats while your Great Pyrenees prefers to lay on the cold, hard ground. Or sprawl in the snow. One of the two.

Set up play dates

You want to keep your Pyrenees exercised and socialized. After 5 minutes of play, watch Pyrenees pin the other dog to the ground, steal the ball, and then bury it because this thing the humans call ‘fetch’ is so far beneath the dignity of a dog that it will not be allowed while he is on duty, thank you very much. He will then watch from the shade, smirking while the other dog looks for the ball.

Schedule a spa day

High-end shampoo and conditioner, paw massages, and a thorough brushing to keep the coat functioning well. Catch your Pyrenees rolling in the mud as soon as you get home.
Feed premium-quality food
Spend your day preparing healthy meals or purchase top of the line food for your Pyrenees. Cry when your Pyrenees snubs your high-quality, healthy meal to go eat the rotting apples under the tree, the grain mash for the chickens, and the dry bread for the goats.

Put out a baby pool

Search high and low for a Pyrenees-sized pool to keep him cool in the summer. Watch Pyrenees use it as a giant water bowl instead and find the deepest mud puddle to roll in.

Prepare an Emergency Loading Ramp for Vet Trips

Pyrenees average 110 lbs each with 175 not being uncommon. If the worst happens, a broken leg, poisoning, or even generally illness, you will need the help of an inclined plane to get your Pyrenees into the vehicle for transport. Then watch as at the sight of the rear gate opening the incapacitated Pyrenees forgets his pain and suffering and leaps three-legged into the car. He may be in immeasurable pain and suffering but by Jingo he gets to GO WITH YOU! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! START THE CAR!

Buy presents for each holiday or celebration

Throw your hands up in despair as Pyrenees completely ignores the new toys and proceeds to minutely inspect each and every rock in the field that he has passed every day of his life.

Remember fireworks are the end of the world

There is a bloody reason you don’t see Pyrenees in war movies or police collars. A full grown Kodiak Grizzly Boar? Potential friend or an easy fight. A pack of wolves? Who cares, they wouldn’t dare cross your massive fluff guardian. But set off a PoP-It too close to the yard and suddenly your Pyrenees has teleported through two fences a mile away and is doing its best impression of a Chihuahua in your lap as you lay gasping on the ground wondering why the clouds are so heavy and why they decided to smother you today. On the Fourth of July and any festival days remember to designate a Pyrenees cuddler and calmer for the duration of the boom boom.

Allow guarding and barking

Both are necessary to satisfy instinctual needs and keep yourself safe. Learn that Pyrenees thinks the neighbor dog, the post man stopping three driveways down, and a raccoon five miles away are all equal threats to a full pack of Dire Wolves but can be staved off with a few good barks.

Offer all the kisses and snuggles in the world

As far as your Pyrenees is concerned there is no such thing as hugging too long. Your will will break, your arms will tire before his do.