CAN GOOD COME FROM EVIL?

It’s never right to do something wrong.  And bad is never good.  I certainly don’t thank God for my long, painful and perverse involvement with pornography.  I’m ashamed of what I did for so many years, and for not seeking help sooner.  I wish I had never gotten involved in this sin and had never put my wife through so much torment. I plead with everyone who is caught up in this cycle of lust to get help immediately.

Nonetheless, I can identify some blessings that I have received as a result of my mistakes.  One of my favorite stories in the book of Genesis is the story of Joseph in Egypt.  It is a masterful story of redemption.

While still a teenager, Joseph who is his father’s favorite, is betrayed by his own brothers and sold as a slave.  Yet in Egypt, with God’s help, Joseph rises up to be Pharaoh’s, right-hand man.  In Genesis 50:20 Joseph tells his brothers:  “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”  My interpretation is that God can use evil and transform it into something good.  Or in other words, God can mine something valuable out of a pit full of muck.

Dallas Willard stated: “What God gets out of my life is the person I become.  What I get out of my life is the person I become.”

I believe I am a better person now as a result of my struggle to fight my way out of this compulsive addiction than I would have been if I had never faced this challenge.  The strain of this undertaking has, at times, been overwhelming, yet I believe it has been a time of growth.  This process is helping me improve as a person.  I hope I am becoming a man of character.

I found there’s nothing like ending up in the bottom of a pit to help me appreciate the One who is there to save me.  I know full well that I can’t do this alone.  I remember reading the short but direct Breton Fisherman’s Prayer: “Dear God, be good to me; the sea is so wide and my boat is so small.”  I sure can’t lick this problem alone.  I need help.  My boat is really small. I need the Lord.  If my pain helps me look to the One who can heal my pain, then perhaps my pain isn’t totally bad.

Raising my hand and saying out loud that I chose to be selfish and to put my own feelings and emotions above almost everything else shows me how weak I am.  Admitting my mistakes and the fact that I went back and fell into the same slime pit time after time reveals to me how utterly helpless I am.  All of this should keep me humble.

I’ve always thought of myself as a hard worker and a good provider for my family. In my own mind, I was a faithful husband and a dedicated Christian.  Nevertheless, as the prophet states in Isaiah 64:6: “all of my righteous acts are like filthy rags.” I was more concerned about my own pleasure and feeling good for an instant than I was about anything else.  How can I ever say that I am better than anyone?  Before I judge others, I have to say with all clarity and honesty: “There but for the grace of God, go I.”

The greatest blessing of all is that when I reach the bottom of the barrel, from there the only place to look is UP.  Down at the bottom of the barrel I have discovered without a shadow of a doubt that I do not have the answer.  I need help and I need it very badly.  My case is drastic, and my case is urgent.  I need a Savior!

I’m not proud of my mistakes. It seems I had to come to know and understand what it means to be lost before I could truly appreciate the tremendous blessing of being found and pardoned.  Having taken a peek at darkness made me appreciate the light that much more!  Having looked evil in the eye, makes me exceeding grateful for His goodness, His love, His grace, His compassion, His mercy, and His faithfulness.

Now that He has shown me the light, I find great satisfaction in doing what I can to lead others to the light.  I pray that as you read these words you will see your own failings and realize that there is only one way out.

Evil is never good.  But when the darkness causes us to search for the light, perhaps we can say that God used something bad to lead us to what we needed and were searching for all along.

 

Taken from the book:  JESUS IS BETTER THAN PORN