Thinking about Success for 2012
Over the past couple of days, I've been looking at my definition of success...and I've decided that I don't have a good handle on what the word means for me.
Winning second place in the favorite author poll at Wave's felt like a measure of success (or at least popularity), and yet I look at how low my books rank on Amazon and the good number of three-star-and-lower ratings on Goodreads, or the no-ratings-at-all things on Amazon that I had hoped would knock people's socks off because I enjoyed writing them so much and felt they were really vibrant and different from everything else out there...and I think maybe my definition is wonky.
If I had to choose exclusively between writing something I personally loved and writing something I was "meh" about, that the public raved over and made all kinds of top-this-or-that lists...I would pick the first option, to be pleased with a work myself. It would be bittersweet to love something I'd created and feel like I was the only one who did. But it would feel worse to think I'd written something that I half-assed and everyone just loved whatever they'd projected onto it.
So given that I do believe my own opinion of my work is the one that matters most, and given that I've at least achieved the level of independence I needed to create the work I want to create (in exactly the way I want to without bending to someone else's agenda), it follows that stumbling across a lousy review or wondering why no one is rating my books on Amazon should cease to matter.
I think that external validation will continue to play a role, given that sales or non-sales of course affect whether or not I can continue to make my livelihood as a working author. But I do think it's possible for the emotional "OMG I'LL DIE WITHOUT APPROVAL" popularity aspect have less emotional hooks in me.
All that said...finally I come to the actual meat of this post, which is the following question:
How do you define a successful story?
Have at it! I'm eager to hear what makes fiction successful or not to all of you so I can sort through and see which parts resonate with me and build my own definition from there. I think that without a solid definition of success I'm having trouble defining goals, and without goals, I have no gauge, and I'm just floundering around feeling dissatisfied with myself.
Winning second place in the favorite author poll at Wave's felt like a measure of success (or at least popularity), and yet I look at how low my books rank on Amazon and the good number of three-star-and-lower ratings on Goodreads, or the no-ratings-at-all things on Amazon that I had hoped would knock people's socks off because I enjoyed writing them so much and felt they were really vibrant and different from everything else out there...and I think maybe my definition is wonky.
If I had to choose exclusively between writing something I personally loved and writing something I was "meh" about, that the public raved over and made all kinds of top-this-or-that lists...I would pick the first option, to be pleased with a work myself. It would be bittersweet to love something I'd created and feel like I was the only one who did. But it would feel worse to think I'd written something that I half-assed and everyone just loved whatever they'd projected onto it.
So given that I do believe my own opinion of my work is the one that matters most, and given that I've at least achieved the level of independence I needed to create the work I want to create (in exactly the way I want to without bending to someone else's agenda), it follows that stumbling across a lousy review or wondering why no one is rating my books on Amazon should cease to matter.
I think that external validation will continue to play a role, given that sales or non-sales of course affect whether or not I can continue to make my livelihood as a working author. But I do think it's possible for the emotional "OMG I'LL DIE WITHOUT APPROVAL" popularity aspect have less emotional hooks in me.
All that said...finally I come to the actual meat of this post, which is the following question:
How do you define a successful story?
Have at it! I'm eager to hear what makes fiction successful or not to all of you so I can sort through and see which parts resonate with me and build my own definition from there. I think that without a solid definition of success I'm having trouble defining goals, and without goals, I have no gauge, and I'm just floundering around feeling dissatisfied with myself.
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That's sweet of you to say, Johnna, thank you. So far it's looking like part of the internal dissonance I'm feeling is that the definition of success is a continually shifting thing, and also that there's a difference between succeeding at a goal and feeling like "a success."
There is also one certain thing that happens to me with the books of my favorite authors - with the stories that remain my favorites. When I'm finished with the book, the story stays in my thoughts for a long time and makes my brain ache. A good story makes me want to go back and ponder over the actions of the characters and to mull over the details. It makes me poke between the lines. Exactly that happened with Fire Thief... and PsyCop and Channeling Morpheus/Sweet Oblivion and with so many of your other books.
Anyway, it seems to me that you already know the recipe to a successful story... So no need to feel dissatisfied with yourself. :) Have a Happy New Year, Jordan!