The Ten Toxic Linkedin Buzzwords – and what to replace them with.

The Ten Toxic Linkedin and Resume Buzzwords You Need to Replace with Southern Sayings.  

Each year LinkedIn releases the top 10 overused buzzwords from member profiles. How do you let potential employers know that you’re the real deal without these words? I humbly propose a bit of Southern flair. Here the buzzwords to cut from your profile/ resume and the Southern alternative that will surely make you stand out.  

1. Motivated 

I say the bullfrog never makes a mistake when he starts singing.You’ll lose your grip if you put too much spit on your hands.I’m decided I would make it happen, even if it harelip-ed the governor.You can’t hurry-up good times by waiting for them.I’m as hungry as a tick on a turnip. I am balls to the walls all day long.I won’t let my shirt tail touch my back until it is it done

2. Passionate 

I don don’t sweat the petty things–I pet the sweaty things.If you can sleep with them, I can eat with them.What you don’t have in your head, you must have in your feet.I’d fight tigers in the dark with a switch for this company.Shit fire and save the matches – I’ll do it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag. It’s not what it’s worth; it’s what it’ll bring.

3. Creative

I found that a sharp ax is better than big muscleIf duct tape doesn’t fix it – then you’re not using enough duct tape.Tell me what you need and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.Words that soak best into ears are whispered.I can tell you how the cow ate the cabbage.Rooster one day, a feather duster the next.You can’t have chicken salad without the chicken shit.

4. Driven: 

I don’t worry about the mule going blind just load the wagon.I’m busier than a borrowed mule.I run like my feet are on fire and my butt was catching.I’m tail up and stinger out.Early don’t last long.Make haste – there ain’t no coming back.Slap some bacon on biscuit – we’re burning daylight

5. Extensive experience: 

A new broom sweeps clean, but an old one knows where the dirt is.Scared money don’t win.Turnip tops don’t tell you the size of the turnips.My experience is more than I can say grace overIf I tell you a hen dips snuff, you better look under her wing for the can.I’ve been doing this since Jesus was a boy.When I started in this business, the Dead Sea was just sick.

6. Responsible

Corn makes more at the mill than it does in the crib.If one lie with dogs, they get up with fleas.A mule doesn’t pull well with a mortgage on his back.The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.I never sign anything by neon.There are no weevils in my wheat.I’m so honest you could shoot craps with me over the phone.

7. Strategic

If you have to eat two frogs, eat the big one first.Don’t name a pig you plan to eat. Early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheeseSave the pacing mare for Sunday.Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen.If you cut your own firewood, it’ll warm you twice.I am scared of nothing but spiders and dry counties.

8. Track record 

When my jobs are small and rewards seem few, I remember the mighty oak was once a not too. You know how I’ve done by looking at my barn, not my houseI’m keeping it between the ditches.I bought it for a song and you can sing it yourself.It takes money to ride the train and drink liquor.I never climb an oak tree for pecans.The woodpile doesn’t grow much on frosty nights.

9. Organizational

I’m the Chief Cook and Bottle Washer.Throw it up to the wind and let the dust settle it.Two can live as cheaply as one if one don’t eat.I say, “Whip a horse with oats.”I will squeeze a nickel until the buffalo farts.Many good cotton stalks get chopped by associating with weeds.No matter what you do to a skunk, it still stinks.

10. Expert 

Handier than a shirt pocket.Live and learn, die and know it all.When I find myself in a hole, I quit digging.I have talked dogs off a meat truck.I won’t argue with idiots, they will just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. I’m more useful than a prefabricated post hole.If I can’t race it or take it to bed, I don’t need it.

Don’t fall back on empty terminology: remember that an idiom is worth a thousand pictures. 

And when asked you if you’d consider relocation? 

“I prefer Heaven for the climate but Hell for the company.” 

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