Choose your better end of the story

A
dear friend of mine once told me his story; He was engaged in a very serious
relationship with somebody, for several years they were together. And then, one
day, out of the blue, their relationship ended; his fiancé messaged and told
him that they cannot stay together anymore because of multiple issues and
reasons. Her reasons to breakup were valid, but the way to end a relationship that
was serious simply over a text message left more questions than answers.

At
that night, each one of them was in a different country; obviously my friend
got very depressed. And what made things even worse is that later on, and after
a couple of days, he realized that his (now) ex-fiancé started going out with
someone else in that country that she was visiting.

His
mind got blown away, because he immediately started thinking about that news,
that she may have been in that relationship while they were still together.
After several months from that story, they talked to that and she told/assured him
that the person she is currently dating was already friend at that time, and
everything happened. immediately after they broke up. So, they didn’t go out,
or were in a relationship at the time when she and my friend were together.

For
the life of him, he didn’t know the real story, he has only speculation and
assumptions. He wouldn’t know if that was the truth she told him, or it was
something else. This experience destroyed my friend for a period of time; From
one angle, he lost the love of his life and from another he felt betrayed and that
his life was fake for a while.

When
we were talking together after that incident, I told him the following:

“If
by any chance, either versions of the stories:

That your fiancé was
dedicated to you, and she met the person after you two broke up. Or, your fiancé was cheating on
you while you were together, and she ended the relationship to be with the
other person.

And both versions lead to the same
conclusion:

You
are not together anymore.

She
is the other person.

You’re
devastated.

She
is happy and either versions won’t change this fact.

So
why don’t you pick the version that suits you better and be confident
that this is what happened: She was in a dedicated relationship with you,
things didn’t work out and each went in separate ways and she met someone else
afterwards, and you have good memories to cherish and it’s time for you to move
on…

End
of the story.”

The only difference between those two versions of the story is that when we know the history of a specific fact, it changes the way we act upon it, it changes the way we react and we continue to; it changes EVERYTHING!

There
are many stories that you can look up on the internet and hear about a similar
incident that my friend had; most of relationships that ends have this mystery
layer right on top of the most and you cannot have a complete visibility inside
the mind of your partner because simply you cannot control every single aspect
of most of your life and certainly not the life of another person; so the breakup
reasons could build over years or it could happen suddenly… No one really
knows.

But
some sometimes you can choose to ignore the signals that is happening in your
relationships, the signals that may lead to betrayal, adultery, or just pain
and sorrow. Once you realize that you were ignoring the signals, eventually
you’ll understand that you could have ended that relationship before things became
more complicated.

Our
tip for this week is learning from the experience of my friend and is about
choosing the best way based on your own benefits.  

When both stories, both hypotheses lead to the same
conclusion then choose the one that is better suited for you and not the
opposite.

Not
every breakup have the luxury of having an appropriate “closure” and mot leave
more questions than answers and more often 2 versions of the same story told by
both parties.

So, in our life, when we are faced with these types of situations where mystery hovers on top. We can always look at it from the aspect of what’s best for me?  

Which version of the story is best for me? Should I keep the other dramatic version and suffer for knowing such details, or tune in for the better version, knowing that in either case the ending in the same?

I would choose the better version for me!

Have a wonderful week,

SC

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Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.