“My stripper name was Tanqueray. Back in the seventies I was...

“My stripper name was Tanqueray.  Back in the seventies I was the only black girl making white girl money.  I danced in so many mob clubs that I learned Italian.  Black girls weren’t even allowed in some of these places.  Nothing but guidos with their pinky rings and the one long fingernail they used for cocaine.  I even did a full twenty minutes in the place they filmed Saturday Night Fever.  But I made my real money on the road.  Three grand on some trips.  Every time Fort Dix had their pay day, they’d bring me in as a feature and call me ‘Ms. Black Universe’ or some shit like that.  I had this magic trick where I’d put baby bottle tops on my nipples and squirt real milk, then I’d pull a cherry out of my G-string and feed it to the guy in the front row.  But I never used dildos on stage or any shit like that.  Never fucked the booking agents.  Never fucked the clients.  In fact, one night after a show, I caught another dancer sneaking off to the Tate Hotel with our biggest tipper.  Not allowed.  So the next night we put a little itching powder in her G-string.  Boy did she put on a show that night.  Didn’t see her again until ‘The Longest Yard’ with Burt Reynolds.  So I guess she finally fucked the right one.”