When life gets hard
This week I am going to talk about something I have touched on before but it’s more personal this time. I have talked about the constant push to of everything in life. Burning the candle at both ends and how exhausting it all is. How breaks are necessary. Well, what if you find the small breaks not enough? This week was THAT week for me.
The beginning of my week started like it always days. Workout, social media, write, go to work, come home deal with kid stuff, if I’m lucky to get some writing in, and go to bed to do it all over again the next day. The problem was I had more running to do than I normally do after work. My son is now taking karate so that increases our trips to the karate studio. I also still have tutoring I’m doing. Getting any writing done or even swag made seemed impossible. By Wednesday I was worn out and my body hurt. I had been the “kick ball” for a few kids all three days. Anyway, Wednesday night hit and I was just having some down time when I became cold and shivering. I took a shower just as a fever was setting in. Now I was sick! WHAT THE….
Thursday, I ended up calling out and slept all day. I wrote an entire page that night. Watch out world. I had already been feeling like a failure this past week for not getting more writing done. I began to really question what I was doing. I could just work my day job and pull in a paycheck. Why am I trying so damn hard and not getting anywhere? I’m exhausted, I can barely see straight, I am kicking my own ass for not getting more writing done during the week. Why? Why put myself through all of this stress? My thoughts were all my naysayers voices. See you aren’t special enough. I told you, your only job in life is to be a mom. These thoughts spun in my head all night Wednesday while I slept and into the next morning.
Then something magical happened, something that showed me my struggles were worth it. Truthful it almost brought me to tears because it was like life was saying hold on. You are getting somewhere just keep pushing. Two of my ARC readers finished reading Bad Karma. The first message that came through was from Amanda. Amanda and I became friends through a Black Dagger Brotherhood Group. We are both J.R. Ward fans and I think she is funny as hell. She has the same sense of humor that I have. I wish we lived closer so we could hang out in person. So she messages me early Thursday morning, she finished the book and is in love with the series. She tells me I have drawn her into Savannah’s world and can’t wait for the next book. She then says something that has been my goal for the last year; that is I am in the same league as J.R. Ward. Those words just sent me over the edge. She made me believe in myself again by telling me how much she loves my writing. I had no words and after a little sleep realized I didn’t say enough to her. So here I go. Amanda, thank you so much for being my life line this week. I needed your words more than you could ever know. Thank you!
Shortly after this message I get a second message, this one just as magical. Michelle and I met through a discussion group I did on Bad Witch Walking. She wanted to read the book but didn’t have the time. So I took a chance on her. This is one of those moments when you have to trust your gut. I did. I made a deal she could have the book for free but she had to give me a review when she was done. She could read it a month later after the discussion group was finished. She agreed. So I sent her the book. A month later she started Bad Witch Walking and fell in love with the series. As soon as she said she loved the book I knew I had to have her on my ARC team. She asked me first if I had a team so she became part of my team. Anyways, she messages me saying she was up late finishing the book because she had to know what happened and loved the book. She then asked when can she get the next book. Her excitement filled me with just as much joy as Amanda’s. Michelle thank you for loving Savannah’s world as much as I do. Your words helped lift me up. Thank you!
There will come a time, maybe even two that you will question what you are doing. Writing is what makes my soul sing. It is what fuels me day in and day out. But there are going to be times when I am so worn down I question if I am doing the right thing. Or if I am just trying too hard. In those moments life will send you a message. This week it came from Amanda and Michelle. There words helped push through that self doubt. They helped me see I am doing exactly what I should be doing. Building an empire brick by brick is exhausting but the end result will be amazing and even I need that reminded sometimes.
So keep going. Take breaks when you need them. Listen to your cheerleaders when they are screaming for you to keep going. They will help you remember why you are doing this. Stay strong in who you are and why you are working so hard. Until next time!
The beginning of my week started like it always days. Workout, social media, write, go to work, come home deal with kid stuff, if I’m lucky to get some writing in, and go to bed to do it all over again the next day. The problem was I had more running to do than I normally do after work. My son is now taking karate so that increases our trips to the karate studio. I also still have tutoring I’m doing. Getting any writing done or even swag made seemed impossible. By Wednesday I was worn out and my body hurt. I had been the “kick ball” for a few kids all three days. Anyway, Wednesday night hit and I was just having some down time when I became cold and shivering. I took a shower just as a fever was setting in. Now I was sick! WHAT THE….
Thursday, I ended up calling out and slept all day. I wrote an entire page that night. Watch out world. I had already been feeling like a failure this past week for not getting more writing done. I began to really question what I was doing. I could just work my day job and pull in a paycheck. Why am I trying so damn hard and not getting anywhere? I’m exhausted, I can barely see straight, I am kicking my own ass for not getting more writing done during the week. Why? Why put myself through all of this stress? My thoughts were all my naysayers voices. See you aren’t special enough. I told you, your only job in life is to be a mom. These thoughts spun in my head all night Wednesday while I slept and into the next morning.
Then something magical happened, something that showed me my struggles were worth it. Truthful it almost brought me to tears because it was like life was saying hold on. You are getting somewhere just keep pushing. Two of my ARC readers finished reading Bad Karma. The first message that came through was from Amanda. Amanda and I became friends through a Black Dagger Brotherhood Group. We are both J.R. Ward fans and I think she is funny as hell. She has the same sense of humor that I have. I wish we lived closer so we could hang out in person. So she messages me early Thursday morning, she finished the book and is in love with the series. She tells me I have drawn her into Savannah’s world and can’t wait for the next book. She then says something that has been my goal for the last year; that is I am in the same league as J.R. Ward. Those words just sent me over the edge. She made me believe in myself again by telling me how much she loves my writing. I had no words and after a little sleep realized I didn’t say enough to her. So here I go. Amanda, thank you so much for being my life line this week. I needed your words more than you could ever know. Thank you!
Shortly after this message I get a second message, this one just as magical. Michelle and I met through a discussion group I did on Bad Witch Walking. She wanted to read the book but didn’t have the time. So I took a chance on her. This is one of those moments when you have to trust your gut. I did. I made a deal she could have the book for free but she had to give me a review when she was done. She could read it a month later after the discussion group was finished. She agreed. So I sent her the book. A month later she started Bad Witch Walking and fell in love with the series. As soon as she said she loved the book I knew I had to have her on my ARC team. She asked me first if I had a team so she became part of my team. Anyways, she messages me saying she was up late finishing the book because she had to know what happened and loved the book. She then asked when can she get the next book. Her excitement filled me with just as much joy as Amanda’s. Michelle thank you for loving Savannah’s world as much as I do. Your words helped lift me up. Thank you!
There will come a time, maybe even two that you will question what you are doing. Writing is what makes my soul sing. It is what fuels me day in and day out. But there are going to be times when I am so worn down I question if I am doing the right thing. Or if I am just trying too hard. In those moments life will send you a message. This week it came from Amanda and Michelle. There words helped push through that self doubt. They helped me see I am doing exactly what I should be doing. Building an empire brick by brick is exhausting but the end result will be amazing and even I need that reminded sometimes.
So keep going. Take breaks when you need them. Listen to your cheerleaders when they are screaming for you to keep going. They will help you remember why you are doing this. Stay strong in who you are and why you are working so hard. Until next time!
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